48 – The Scars I Hold On To…

No It's Not A Cat Scratch

Song of the 25th Hour:
Linkin Park – Faint

Since I’m known to be MORE honest when I’m half asleep, let me confess to you all something. See those marks on my arms. They may LOOK like an animal did it. I may even SUPPORT the idea that an animal did it. But the truth is…an animal DIDN’T do it. It was far worse than any animal.

It was a monster that did it.

Ok fine, its time for it to be out in the open now. The sad truth is that I did it. I did it during the time in my life when I lost my reason to keep living life as it should be. As some of us cutters know…sometimes the pain inside is so much so…blinding for us that we cannot see what is and what is not. The reason why we cut ourselves or at least the reason why I cut myself is that at least I can see the pain rather feel something that threatens to explode from your chest.

At least you know this is blood spilt that you can control.

With every line being physically real.

Physically there for you to see.

Anything to see rather than the pain you cannot.

It may be an old habit for me, but these are the only scars that have lasted this long without any trace of it disappearing. Maybe its because it is supposed to be a reminder of something I lost. Something I may not ever gain back again. So yeah…I have 27 reason all etched on my arm to remind me the price of losing something you value more than your own sense.

That some things in life will always carry with you.

Some in pride and joy.

Some in burden and regret.

No brownie points for guessing how I carry those scars.

No brownie points at all.

2 thoughts on “48 – The Scars I Hold On To…

  1. ooo just noticed you’re doing a blogathon. good luck! sped through your last 24 hours and wow do you learn a lot about a person by so many blog posts. thanks for sharing and hope it gets warmer. keep your feet warm and stuff. :P 

    Posted by chasyss

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