My Own 24: 0300-0400…

Song of the Hour: Matchbox 20 – Unwell

I remember a time when I would stay up on New Years just…waiting for it to come. Just having fun simply because I was with people I could share the newcoming with. I remember that.

Then came a small smudge on the board of memories.

Small regrets that I could live with, but would never be totally clean until I find a way to clean it.

Now I have to live with this.

A hallmark of what it means to be who I am. To stand true to what I am. A reminder of the price I have to live with for the mistakes I have compounded over the God knows how long.

You seem only to be living with the consequence of other people’s choice. My choices only parallel to what they would do. Maybe that isn’t much, but maybe that choice is on my own. To be that careful to mirror for a purpose more than my own.

Of course, I have to also live with the consequence of my OWN decisions.

That of course…is what got me here in the end.

24 hours of memories I will relive day after day for the rest of my life.

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