Today is Chap Goh Meh. Today is also Thaipusam. But today for some reason…I am in college…studying. To top it off I have absolutely no mood to study at all. I know it’s a normal day…but just for some obscure reason, I have no mood to even pay attention in class. Which is very bad indeed. It’s not like me to be this disillusioned…not this far off the beaten track.
My old friend and blood brother Ben is leaving for Australia tomorrow. I doubt that’s really what’s bothering me. I just like to remember the good ol days so full of the freedom that we have. Maybe thats why I’m getting a little disillusioned. When I remember what it’s like to be that…I just have to stop and say…”Wait a minute…where did my life go again?” I’m like a speeding train headed for some unknown destination…and I’m picking up speed. Sooner or later I’m just afraid that I’ll be the very being which I never want to be…one that stops and appreciates nothing, wonders nothing because all he ever does is spend the rest of his days moving through life at breakneck speeds until he hits an unbreakable wall.
I did however spend my Chap Goh Meh with Milee. That’s what the day is symbolic for anyway. The Chinese Valantine’s Day. Nothing remotely special…dinner, and a long cuddle among other things. I’m not big on showy stuff…but I guess its those things that matter in a relationship. How else can you truly show your affection if it isn’t for those thousand carresses and million embraces?
Anyway…now I’m the next one in line to leave for Australia. Another old friend Joe keeps saying I won’t do it. But…he knows better that I would. It’s just the things I have to leave behind that maybe I’ll regret leaving. It’s been a long time since I wantes to leave and just so happens, I’ve built my own reputation and life that I never had before in high school. It just sucks to say bye to that when you’re finally realising the fruits of your labour.
It’s time for me to start filling myself with some sentimentality about this place I guess…yeah right. Sentimentality? Me? Now that’s being disillusioned alright…