An Ending And A Prelude…

Continuing what I said yesterday. This IS some sort of record. Not only have I been able to finish my assignment at all. I finished an assignment that makes sense…though come to think of it, anything would make sense when you’re sleepy and tired at 2 in the morning. I finished it in the time I said I would finish in. I dug up MORE than my fair share of referrences and articles…and I didn’t die.

Now I just can’t print.

This always always happens!

Why do you mock me God?!

This happened last week as well. Lab report…the night before I hand it up. I finished it 2 days in advance…then I just can’t print it the night before because the network connection connecting me to the printer in my friend’s room…was down…the moment I wanted to print. Oh yeah…so it’s not just the fact I can’t print. To make it more insulting, my area is the only one that can go online.

Fat lot of good that does.

Yeah…thanks alot God. I hope this is amusing enough for you.

I’ll still get it done anyway no matter what. I’ll just print it on campus. It’s just that it can get so frustrating when you understand this happens to you for a reason…and if that reason is to humour someone…alot. That is not a particularly good reason.

At least for me.

But…at least everything is done. By my own hand with the personal issues dwelling at the back of my mind. I finished it. I can at least give myself some satisfaction that although it’s probably shoddy work…it’s MY work. If I can’t take pride in my own sweat and blood no matter what the outcome then I might as well go and shoot myself.

Maybe I’ll take up her advice and rest at least for the weekend. I know it’s a guilty pleasure but I’m still sick, I’ve got my finals and a lab exam to do, plus 2 more lab reports to hand up. All in the space of a little more than a month which if you didn’t know already I am fasting for the entire period of it. If I don’t at least unwind now…

You can pull the plug on my life support right now and get it over with.

I wish there was some other it would all mean something good for me. I just wish that it would.

But there is still no reason or rhyme.

No passion and pizzaz.

It’s all out of necessity and duty.

And it makes perfect sense.

Good God…what have I become?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *