Another Feeling For The Record…

I don’t think some feelings will ever die. I don’t some things being true to what they are between two people will ever end with just words and distance. Time may mellow alot of things but for some of us, memories are never forgotten, just misplaced until something or everything reminds you of what mattered more than anything else in the world for you.

I was reading her journal when I read this part.

It’s not easy hiding things from people. Especially it’s from people you care about. But then..somethings just had to be done~~ And somewhere along that road if anyone got hurt..I’m truly sorry…

But seriously…these few months have been well…how do i put this? Eventful… Hearing about people breaking up and getting together and experiencing everything that you’ve heard…though not applying the advice that you gave others on yourself. Which is a pretty stupid move i might add… But what the heck..that’s life right?

But back to the present…it really hurts hiding things. Heck…i’ve been hiding so many skeletons in my closet until i lost count on what i actually do have in there! Thing is…amd i being fair to everyone? What did i get myself into this time?

Sigh~~~I just wish that i use my head to think instead of my heart. Things gets messy if not all information gets processed by your brain. Because after everything happens…you’s have to think MORE and it seriously gives you a very bad headache after that.

No I don’t think she would be referring to just me. Knowing her life and how she thinks, there is just alot on her mind. Things that I just want to take her away from just like before. Alot of people she cares for, alot to just put her feelings into a single person and even if she did, I would be almost delusional to say that she would put that much trust and care into me again at this moment.

But…there was a time when she did.

I miss every single second of it.

The moments where she made me worth working for a future I could give her.

The moments where she made me feel…like I was the luckiest man alive.

She still hasn’t stopped me from feeling all that though. To know her to at least truly laugh and share your life with her…to me…it’s…she makes me feel alive and feel everything that life has to offer the human scope of existance. Good or bad, pleasure of pain. She stood by me the most when everyone else wouldn’t and made the different no one else could make.

She gave me a part of my soul back

And completed the parts of me I could never have by myself.

No matter how long it has been or how much I’ve been through.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to give her my hand to hold, my shoulder to lean and my belly to lie on.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop being there for her as always.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her the way I do.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her.

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