There are days when I dream of being rich…materialistically speaking of course. Yeah, hard to believe for some that know me…but I seriously do. For those that don’t know…yes…I’m not loaded with cash. Nor do I have the supposed scores of technological gadgets lined up at my disposal. My clothes are like any other things in this world…a superficial lie to at least give me some small comfort that I’m not living in the streets.
Day in day out I envy the people who are at least self supportive when it comes to daily items. Sure enough…alot of them that I know actually do work. But alot of those that I do know are well…still studying and by all standards…monetarily rich. It’s not that I have a beef with them…they are my friends too and I like them for who they are. But sometimes, I have to grin and bare it when they say no money means they are down to their last 100 or 50 bucks. I think where I come from no money literally means you have a few 1 cent coins in your wallet.
Sometimes I wish I could own all the books I wish to have just like that instead of resorting to downloading or borrowing them. I want a life where I don’t need to struggle so hard to get the parts for my computer I need (I had to replace my mouse today…and almost forked out my own allowance for it…till someone pointed out a more…nefarious means of obtaining it). I want to be placed in a situation where I don’t need to keep digging the bargain bin for clothes under 50 bucks each time I have to buy them because my last pair were torn. I want to at least own a pair of shoes that won’t degrade in 6 months then wait another 6 months to buy a new pair again.
If I could ask from my parents that would be a heaven send. Unfortunately I have enough lectured from them about bills and how I seem to be spending money like water. I get news from them that I have to take out a loan to finance my education further. I should be grateful for all this…until I realise they just installed 2 air conditioning in the computer room downstairs and in the living room…and hired outside help. What the hell do you need to air conditioning in the living room for?! You can OPEN THE SLIDING DOOR AT THE BACK!!
No wonder people think I’m rich…my house looks like that which a rich person would live in. Boy…if they only knew it’s only for show.
What am I to do? I can’t do anything about it. Unless I find burried treasure, the only solice I can find in all this is the things I find on the inside. The “richness” of essance no matter who holds it. Whether nature, people, events…its towards the inside that I have to look to for that comfort I can’t find in this material world.
In theory that IS the right thing to do…but I’m still human…no matter what face I wear…I’m only human…