Confession Time…

It’s time I started to confess something to the lot of you. I don’t know how any of you might take it in stride. I fear that I may, on my part offend many of you by what I am about to say. If so…do not read and further and I appologise. But…if you’re curious on what I’m going to say or you just don’t give a damn…keep reading.

Over the years, there are alot of you out there that for some reason or another have confided in me your lives. Confided your fears. Confided your joys. Confided your pain. Confided your victories. For that I would have to thank all of you. Thank all of you for the trust you put in me. The trust that I would not betray your secrets. Now I have something to share to you all..

I love listening to the pain and loss of others.

Now this is something I hope that people would not take the wrong way. It’s something that I myself began to realise recently. If I were to look back on the times when people started to confide on me. If I were to look at my reactions from then to now. It’s not that I take it with a pinch of salt.

It’s that I am…addicted to it.

It feels like I’m never happy unless someone tells me of a problem. I’m never happy unless I got an someone’s issue to deal with. I may look frustrated, I may look busy…but…is it a problem if you thrive on the problems and pain of others?

Maybe it’s true that misery loves company. Maybe I have my own issues that I distract myself with the words of others. Maybe I find it comforting in hearing the words of others. Maybe…I just feel more accepted when someone trusts me with a problem.

Maybe that’s it.

Maybe it just that…I want to be accepted. I just want to feel like I’m still part of people’s lives. I don’t want to feel disconnected from others as much as I am now. Like I am in life, in my former high school, in college…in my family. All I want is I just want to be a part of someone’s life. To share in your joys and pain. Maybe just in putting that trust in me…means a whole lot more to me than anyone else thought it would.

I thank you all…you know who you are…for what you have done with me. You all gave me a small purpose and saw me through hard times.

For that is something I will always repay back.

You know what I say…I’m always here for you.

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