As the days grow more and more hectic, my mind is becoming this mass of jumbled thoughts. There will be times I blank off into space…usually with a thought or two on my mind. But these days when I blank off…there is nothing on my mind. It’s as if my brain decided to go on standby and take any opportunity to do nothing at all.
I don’t have to tell anyone that’s a bad thing. That’s a very bad thing indeed. Oh sure…some of you might say “It’s alright…I do it all the time…” But the truth is, my thoughts are my conscience. It’s hard to make a judgement call on your actions when one day you decided that guilt and all that comes with it is irrelevent. It makes things easier on you sure, but over time I’ve learnt that they are always concequences to your actions…and not all of them are paid by you. So what do you do when you don’t necessarily feel good and bad? You think about it of course…
Two days ago I blogged about how I think all the time. This is one of those reasons why I do it. It’s not just about problems…it’s about either logically justifying my actions or considering the variable concequences of my actions on myself and others. In other words…would this action negatively impact me? Would the impact on others indirectly affect me in anyway…how? As selfish as that seems, it’s not different than the moral standards we apply everyday…you may be one of those people who do right because you think it’s the right thing to do. But are you those people that know and understand really WHY is it the right thing to do? What about the other people out there that do the right thing because they fear eventual punishment and retribution especially from the law?
Sure…they are small flaws in the system I use, but hey…worked so far for me. The only alternative is to really be a soulless monster…which is why it’s important for me that I not think of nothing when I do blank out. Anything that resembles some form of compassion and conscience in this society is better than not having any at all. Doing things with some form of logical empathy to people no matter how wrong it seems to them is better than doing things without regards to others.
Maybe my brain did overload…hell…I’ve got midterms and I haven’t been sleeping much anyway. I have been pushing my head to the limits these days with the ever changing plight of situations. As much as I can try to be, I’m still human…for now. What I need is a short break from all this…maybe a hike up the hill again can do wonders. After the midterms…yeah…that’s a good idea.