Well…all I can say is this. If you get the chance to watch a movie anytime soon. Go ahead and watch Constantine. It really isn’t that bad after all if you like the whole eternal battle between good and evil where the lines aren’t so clearly drawn. Considering the fact that it is exactly what I like…I can say it’s actually worth watching it more than once.
But let me save my sentences for the review I’m supposed to write.
Press screenings aside, shopping alone for new clothes in a very large place made me reaffirm 2 things.
1. I am actually single once again.
2. I still have lousy taste in clothes.
You see, there is a reason why recently I don’t feel like doing things alone and that is because I miss a lot of things I usually do in a relationship. I miss the talking, I miss the laughing, I miss the adventure and I even miss being scolded for being a daft prick at times. As a result, I really don’t feel like watching other couples just snuggle with each other in front of me, especially when I’m by myself. It’s not exactly the best thing for me to see in my condition.
Then again…life isn’t without its sense of irony.
But I suppose not falling apart or feel like falling apart shows that at least I’m getting the hang of life by myself as a single person. I didn’t realise until half way that I’m actually doing this alone without complaints and without thought. Just the pure focused instinct on what I’m supposed to do and what I should be doing.
In a way, I’m back to who I am in the first place.
Whether that is a good or bad thing is…entirely for the future to play its part out. In the end, I will just have to deal with the consequences of actions no matter where they are or who they are from. That is the life that has apparently been laid out before me. I know there is a plan in there somewhere. I’m sure there is.
It just seems to make sure that I stay on course of who I am and what I’m doing. Like I sold my own soul for something without even realising it. To cast away a part of my humanity to be this…creature born from the grace and corruption that life draws its fine line on.
Whether for a purpose greater than itself.
I don’t know.
Whether for a life bigger than it’s worth.
I don’t know.
But if such is a future that is to be for me.
I guess all that’s left is to hold fast to the sword.
And pray that someone is watching my back.