Couples 101…

Does anyone know how a relationship is supposed to be? I mean…seriously, to all of you who had had a relationship in the past or are having one now. Did you or do you know how a relationship is supposed to be? What is a loving relationship supposed to mean to you?

Seriously think about it for a second.

Does is have to be kisses and hugs all the time? Does have to be gifts and serenades? Does the girl have to constantly pay attention to the guy? Does the guy have to constantly prove his affection for the girl? Is constant physical contact a must in a relationship…even in public? Do we have to treat our loved ones the same way we treat our friends? Are they supposed to meet our friends too? Who pays for the date? Is sex an important bond? Should you feel guilty when you try and ask a favour from your girlfriend or boyfriend? Is absolute open truth safe for the realtionship?

So many questions…not even a single manual.

I was lying in bed with one arm around her while she was sleeping last night and for the briefest moments I was wondering what I was doing? What are we doing anyway? Love…love is there. But the more I tried to look at us…look at anyone of us. It hit me like a truck on a blinded dear…

We have no idea what we are doing in a relationship.

Don’t get me wrong. I have my plans in a relationship. I have my intimacy, I have a future I try so desperately hard to work for. I have my attention, I have my insecurities. But…it didn’t occur to me until last night that in truth…how do we know what we’re doing is the right thing?

I know that truth especially about the past is important for a relationship even if it hurts at first. I know sometimes it’s not safe to meet their friends because it can lead to awkward moments which can lead to dislike. I know sex is as important as talking when it comes to a deeper relationship because it solidifies the bond between both people. I know physical contact in public isn’t as important as talking in it because that is the basis of a relationship. I know that a little affection, gift, serenade and attention is enough…too much just wear it out thin in the end.

I know all this.

How did I know all this anyway?

I’ve had my relationships in the past. I’ve made my mistakes and am learning from them. But I’m wondering now as I did then…did I have any idea how it should have gone? We’ve all had advices from other people, but when you look at it this way, where did they get their foreknowlege? Chances are…probably winging it as well as advices from other people who were winging it. That is a scary cycle…

Especially to realise no one else knows it too.

It might sound terribly un-romantic to be thinking of all this, but then again…I want what’s best for a relationship. We all do. There is nothing wrong in wondering whether what we’re doing is right or wrong. It’s just making sure we aren’t on the path that will lead to self-destruction that’s all.

So for now, I’ll bury these thoughts with this blog and just do it the way I think it to be right. There will be other nights watching her sleep. There will be other hot sweaty days. There will be other deep thoughts on how we should help the people we do.

But now…

There is only time to smile and live.

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