How can a person stand in the middle of all that’s good and not smile? How can a person come so close to perfection yet be so far from it? How can a person walk the road that leads to happiness and yet feel so uneasy? How is it that in the moments of joy unconstrained…a person can feel the pull of the melancholic?
Sad case isn’t it?
I don’t know. We can spend hours on end in the darkness of the night staring at that point in the ceiling thinking everything and nothing at all. But in any case…we return back to square one. The doubt, the mistrust, sadness, the fear…especially the fear. How can any of us turn so far away from the light? How can any of us be the ones that swore to bring the light back to others be so far from that radiance ourselves?
We know it’s our gift. We know it is our curse. But that doesn’t mean we cannot make it work for us. We know what to do in times like this. We have done wonders in times like this. But what stops us from doing wonders to our own lives…to our own existance? Don’t we deserve our happiness too? Don’t we deserve at least something for what we have done and endured? Yet we still cradle in that darkness always standing at the edge of the light.
Why do we always hold back that part of ourselves to just ourselves? Why do we fall short of trusting others with our own secrets when they trust us with theirs? Why do we always hide under our own shell of smiles and arrogance? Do we think that our issues go away when no one see’s them? We know it doesn’t. We have told countless others that it can never go away unless we deal with it ourselves. But why don’t we ever take out own advices?
So many more questions, no real answers.
So whats people like like us supposed to do really? Nothing we can do. Nothing we can do execpt what we were meant to do. Meant to keep doing. Whatever stands in our way, we know we can over come them. We may not listen to others, we may not listen to even ourselves, but we do what we have to do. I just hope that it’s also what we want to do.
I always can hope…