Four exams down and three more to go. Then the assignments and lab reports to be completed right after. Lastly we finish off with the Finals in about a month away. Can anyone say a busy semester? But it doesn’t end there folks…to top that off…the semester break (which isn’t much of a break considering it’s only 2 weeks everytime) will be topped up with doing my assignments for my last semester here. Since my last semester before I leave for Australia will be half of that normal semesters (two months instead four months), it’s going to be one of the most jam packed time of my life. 6 hour labs a week, 2 micro-thesis, 2 presentations, tests, midterms, finals and a partridge in a pear tree in the course of two months…oh ain’t life sweet.
At this point I’m going to have to start asking myself, why am I doing all this? What am I in this for? I mean come on…it’s not like I’m going to stop after i get my degree. It’s going to be all the way once I started this. Honours, Masters and Phd. This is followed by a lifetime of trying, not only to outcompete my fellow colleagues but also myself as I try to at least mantain my level of scientific publication per year.
So who in the right mind would go to so much trouble for a life that would only give you enough to support yourself financially anyway?
I guess if you ask that question to anyone in the same position. Flying Doctors, Conservationalists, Doctors or generally any successful high profile people in careers that don’t usually belong to the mainstream ones. What would they have in common? A dream? A vision of commiting to something bigger than themselves? Dedication to their goals, ideals and principles? Probably all of it in many ways…
So what’s my drive to endure all this and things to come? I’m not so sure these days. A promise to myself. A promise to a friend who’s no longer here. A promise to all those who have been beaten down before. A promise to all those who have scoffed at me before. A promise to fufill Is that all that’s driving me? Promises? I have my dreams of something bigger than myself…but those are just dreams and all that’s driving those dreams are my promises?
I could go on questioning the reasons why I’m doing the things I’m doing and still go back to those promises I made to myself a long time ago. Maybe that’s what drives others too…our promises to ourselves. Maybe it’s something that seems noble to others, maybe it’s a selfish reason. But I guess in the end it’s how much effort we put to making sure we keep to our promises. Otherwise…why else would we do the things we do?
So…why drives you to do the things you do?