So little things to do and even lesser time to do it. I know I’m heading off to Australia this coming July. The whirlwind is on it’s way and all I can do now is ride it till the end. So what can I possibly do now but prepare the things I need to bring over of course.
Though…I’m beginning to realise the sheer amount of things to settle before I can make my way over there. Payments to be made, visa and plane tickets to settle. But it’s still not just that. It’s the personal things that I still haven’t settled.
The things I don’t want to leave behind.
I recently bought myself a 120 gigabyte internal hard disk, which I then attached it to an external casing, giving Sarah all the space she needs to get what I wanted. Movies…lots of them. So I’m not a DVD or VCD kinda person. I just like to have them in the comforts of my own hard disk. At least I know it won’t degrade in 4-5 years time. I can just keep downloading the movies there so I hear, it’s cheaper than renting them there…but I rather stock up as much movies online as I can over here just in case. Just to play it safe. The rest is between God and me.
It’s not the things I need to stock up which worries me. I still don’t want to leave. I just wish there was someway about it. Some way I can secure my future without leaving. But there is no sure way isn’t it? No sure way to know for sure that things will be the same when I get back. But…I have to make sure they are the same when they get back…no…maybe not the same. Stronger, deeper and more entwined in the loop than when I left. When I leave with a future to make.
I want to return with a future to hold.
But just so happens life is uncertain isn’t it? You just never know what’s going to carress your skin or bite you in the ass later on. But I don’t care…I still won’t resign to that uncertainty, I still want to make sure I have whatever I have waited my life to get. I want to look at uncertainty in the eye and make it so confused that even uncertainty is uncertain. Does that make sense? Maybe it does when you realise one thing.
I’m that stubborn.
So right now all I do is this…keep downloading the movies for as long as I’m able to. There is nothing I can do for the future except wait for it to arrive and do the things that need to be done. Some things are best left to God and be done with. But the rest of your life…that’s best left to your hands to be done with and let God settle what’s left.
Because life won’t settle for any thing less…