Somehow as a person in a foriegn country you expect to be placed in a position where you’re always the solitary minority. even though you come in a bunch that’s nutty enough to start singing in the freezing cold when its dark enough to be 9 at night. For some of us, you’d still expect to have the feeling of homesickness and isolation.
But expectations can be wrong.
After a while…you tend to realise that no matter where you are, no matter what flavour you’re wading in. No matter the age. No matter the sex. No matter if you’re in rags or riches. Everyone is the same. That’s the God honest truth.
Everyone is the same.
We like to think that everyone is different. We like to think that we are all special and unique. Maybe so. Maybe it is. But if you have lived long enough, if you have looked through the eyes of more than one person, you tend to realise that everyone goes through the same trials and tribulations as anyone else.
No one escapes that.
It took me a flight and a few days to truly understand that even continents apart, even through many nationalities, you will get bullied in school. There will be a bitch that will make your life a living hell. You will want to love or fall in love. You will want to get married. You will want to have fun. You will want to relax. You will have responsibilities you can’t avoid. You will want money. You will laugh. You will be hurt. You will feel alone. You will hit the dirt. You will feel alive. You will feel like ending your life. But in the end…one thing’s for sure.
You will survive everything.
Of course, most people don’t seem to realise that. Most people wrap themselves up in their own self-misery, too lazy to understand that they can do something about it. Too self-centred to realise that impossibility is a term suited for people who walk this world blind. Blinded by their own lack of faith in what they can do and closed to the opportunities and possibilities that reality can be painted with.
So I can take a small comfort in my plight by the fact of all the similarities we all have. I do have the love of someone who makes me better than I can ever be. I do have someone whom I love completely. From her small cute pouts to her deep insight. From her dark melancholy to her warm embraces. I am lucky. Even if I am a few thousand miles away. Even if I’m physically alone.
I have her.
I will always have her.
That I realise I am most thankful for. That I can use to feed myself on those cold lonely nights. That is my fuel that burns just as brightly and intensely as my desire to reshape the world. Of all things we all find the same, I already have my ninety pieces of silver here in my heart.
All I need to do is keep that faith.
All I ever want to say is I love you.
No matter where we are or what we’re doing.
I love you.