Laughter And Forgotten Smiles…

Being an editor recently I’ve been given the responsibility to sift through tonnes of user submitted articles to see which should be allowed to be posted onto the site that I also write for. Being an editor…I’m beginning to see what they still need me to write content considering the obscene amount of articles submitted to us.

This is just one example.

Name: XXX
E-mail: XXXXX@XXX.com
Title: mike
Section: ERR
Article: Mike Shinoda is so cute! (Linkin Park)

That’s it. That’s the WHOLE article. A seven word sentence. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…but considering the whole lot of grief I’ve been taking over the past few months, I guess I needed to laugh.

It’s still hard on me to keep to the things which I never thought I’d do again. It’s hard to return to the beginning because it also means returning to the past without the things you hold on to. Return to the parts where you were always the ugly second in life. The parts where you were overlooked and not loved for who you are.

It’s hard to stop being loved by the one you care for.

But that’s life isn’t it?

That all love at some point is unrequited. That at some point things begin to fracture under the pressure of reality and our own self doubt. That in the end we have to keep going no matter what the situation or however it may be.

If this is another chapter in my life then by all means, this is the part where I have to play gentleman. The part where I do my best to remain in control of my own life without folding under the weight of it. This would definitely be the part where good things tend to go bad.

This would be the part I just try to hold on to surviving.

If it only were that easy.

If only I know what’s on her mind.

If only she would smile because of me again.

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