No doubt…sometimes in life you will get lost. Sometimes in life…you will lose focus of what matters the most. In people such as myself…there is no doubt about it…sometimes we take the best things in life for granted. Sometimes we might lose those very things that keep us alive and in our mistakes…lose them forever.
But it’s not going to happen
Not while I have something to say about it.
It’s hard to imagine me…the guy I am…messing up on a level I would otherwise tell people to do differently. It’s hard to put into perspective how much it would mean to ask help from another to help save the world you have come to live in for the rest of your life. It’s hard…but some things have to be done.
It was time to stop being self-pitiful.
It’s just so like life to give me something when I ask for it. It’s also so much like life to give it all it’s got. I can imagine life going:
“Have you had enough?! How do you like it now?! Buahahahahaha!!“
Then it could be just me that goes that way…still…it’s close enough to what I imagine.
If there is anything to be learnt about all of this is that what Anita Blake said was true all along. Love is never enough. In the world that we live in…in the life that people like us lead. Love is never enough. It’s not so much the love and the desire to want a person that will get you through the cold nights.
No…I forgot the most important rule. Which is sometimes you got to do what it takes to survive before you can go ahead and live.
Being where I am isn’t the same as where I was before. The rules have changed…and as such…yes…I admit I have changed. I let my insecurities and fear do the best of me. I let it drag me down to this problem.
Now I’m going to drag myself out of it.
Even if I have to drag my rotting stump for legs from the mud.
I’m not going to resign myself to the mess I’m in. For now…I’m not going to dwell on the roads that took me here. I’m going to go out and walk that road out of here. I’m going to be who I always am. I am still the man you always loved. This is me being the confidant confidante you always knew…and I’m asking you one thing.
Please take my hand.
I know there is alot I have to make up for and there is no better time than now to do it. So yeah. Don’t turn your heart away now. We’ve walked this far. We’ve gone through this much. I say it’s time to mend the things we thought weak. It’s time to make sure of the things we know in our heart is true.
It’s time for me to seal my place on that ladder.