Throughout the course of your life, how much effort have you out into doing what matters to you at the moment? I mean…has there ever been moments when you would begin to overdo the things that you pay most attention to? Have there been moments where you would be willing to go to great lengths to maintain a legacy you kept before? To keep a past that you try so much to cling to?
Maybe some people are not used to a fluidic change in such short span of time. Maybe some people are scared of losing things that they have tried so hard to create or found. Maybe some people try too hard on what they are working towards that they forget there is more to life than what they are on.
Maybe some people just want to be who they already are.
In any case, sometimes I forget that I’m not the only one in the world who has to work hard for the things that we don’t want to lose. Whether our job, our friends, our work or even our love life. It’s easy to forget that other people also stand to lose things that they put so much effort into. It’s easy to lose yourself in what you want because it’s all you can think about. It’s just too easy to forget to maintain the things that should be maintained.
I don’t know.
Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t have to worry so much. Maybe all I should do is be patient and go with the things I know should be done. After all…that was what we told ourselves should be done right? That’s what we would tell anyone else in our position. If I spend my time moping on what can’t be done…it’s easy to miss out on things that I could have done to make things better for me.
Then again…I’m not saying that I can’t worry at all. Oh…I have a right to worry when you’re not well. I have a right to be jealous of the people you hang out with. I have a right to be pouting when you tease me with secrets. I can do that. I just won’t take it too far. I won’t be melancholic about it. I won’t be posessive about you and I won’t be really pissed off about everything. It’s a hard thing to do…but you gave me a chance to do all that. You gave me a chance to be a person better than I am. You gave me a chance to do something greater than myself. If not for my own sake…then for yours.
Maybe that’s what I really want to say.
With you so far…sometimes I think I can’t stand to live without you bringing out what I can’t do by myself. For some brief moments I forget you’re always here with me. You’re always here to tell me to keep calm. You’re always here to go out and have fun with people. You’re always here to tell me I can do it. You’re always here to tell me to forget about what other people think and say about what I work for. You’re always here in me…as part of me.
Part of the soul you gave to me.
That’s what matters.
Not how much I put into what I have to keep it, but to bring out the things I already have.
I have you.
We’ll just have to hold on to that.