Of Ideals And Fortune…

Good God!! I just realised one thing…I opened up my wallet and found out I only have 10 bucks left for the entire week. Where the hell did my money go? I thought just a few days ago, I had 50 bucks in my wallet. I’m not the type for spending…hell…I haven’t even been eating lunch lately. So I ask again…where the hell did my money go? Definitely got to stock up before Valantine’s. Fat chance to be broke in the face of it…

I was reading Anita Blake again and I came across this one paragraph.

“I looked at Asher, and he was hiding behind that shining hair again. What was I supposed to say, that if I hadn’t been so squeamish this wouldn’t be happening? I’m sorry I have issues with my boyfriend doing other men. I’m sorry I have issues with me doing other men. Why was I always being made to feel guilty because I wasn’t having sex with more people? Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around?”

Somehow I that’s one of the lines I never grow tired off. Not just because it’s funny, but also because it serves as a reminder for something else. What line do we have to cross to save the people we care for? How much of our ideals do we sacrifice when it boils down to saving the people we love? We all say we won’t do this or that…but how precious are our ideals in the face of extreme conditions?

Personally I know where my limits are when it comes to my ideals. The physical survival of me and people I care about. Yeah…thats pretty much the usual stuff. I rather have crisis of conscience later than a tombstone over my body or any of my friends. It’s not a bad trade off anway. Live to see another day…wipe out my enemies by blowing them away. Ok…so I may not be a gun-totting sociopath. But if there is any consideration…there are many days when I wish I was one. Solving problems with the end of a gun barrel may not be the wisest choice…but these days for the most part, it seems to be the most effective short term choice.

Then again…sex to save someone isn’t a bad trade off too…:) Oh well…we live what we can. Whether fiction or reality. Only thing we can do is live it one step at a time and decide when the time comes right? What else can we do but that…?

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