Right now believe it or not, I’m not blogging with Sarah. Why? Cause I lent her to my friend. Egads…for what reason you ask? Well for two very important reasons.
1. I don’t want to fail Microbiology
2. I don’t want to fail Microbiology.
I know if I have Sarah with me…I’d do whole lot more than just blog…that’s bad for studying. So I did what I have to do.
Love…love…somehow that subject seems to pop up alot these past few days. Its the force that’s supposed to bind people together. Its power ripples throughout our culture and society like the shockwaves of a thermonuclear explosion. It’s the object of devotion and scorn for many people alike depending on the sides they lived through. But the thing is…who the hell knows what love is about?
I mean…seriously. We fall in love…how many of us actually understand what that means? Is it a feeling of extreme like towards another? Is it a feeling of devotion and willingness to sacrifice for the subject of love? It is a chemical reaction in our body driven by primal forces to mate and produce offspring? Thing is…I think its all fo that…and a whole lot more.
I think love alone in the end is every human emotion combined, refined and amplified an infinite fold. Probably the reason why most people can’t define the feeling of love in the first place. It’s beyond words…either that or some of us need to read a little bit more. But think about it…aside from all the glorious things you feel when it comes to love, no greater hate, misery, suffering and torment can come from who or what you loved the most. People ask how is it possible to feel happy and sad at the same time. I say easy…fall in love.
Maybe that’s why I have no faith in love itself. I mean…I believe in love. I have my own faith in it. But I don’t believe that love is enough between two people. I never do. So what if it’s every single human emotion. “Wow…I feel pain…but I’m happy as well. I’m confused” Nope…certainly don’t want that reaction.
I don’t know…being more practical when it comes to relationships isn’t healthy. But…seeing that there has to be something you want from your partner, something that explains the reason for your attraction. I mean…love dies. That’s the God honest truth…love can die. But as human beings…there has got to be a fuel for it. The ultimate reason…desiring something we can never have. Living the rest of your life…always out of reach of something only your partner can give you.
It doesn’t have to be physical. I’m all for mind, heart and soul. But it’s something I don’t have. Maybe for me…it’s a heart, a soul and a future feared. Ok maybe it’s not as easy as that…but thats the best I can sum it up. But at least I know even in the absence of love…that alone warrants my devotion and willingness to sacrifice something. If that isn’t love…well…it’s so close no one can tell the difference.
So much for love. Romantics may say love needs no reason nor words, but I say that’s cause they’re not looking far enough into the future. I’ve learnt my lesson. I may not have lost faith…but I’ve expanded it a little bit more than just devotion, trust and sacrifice. It’s simple if not cold. Hehe…cold love…who’d have thought about it?
Yeah…love…sometimes it can be the most wonderful thing in the world. Other times…well…it’s just another way to bleed…