Oh Such Generosity…

As my feet started to swell up like a balloon, it made me realise one thing that everyone else probably realised when doing the same thing I was doing today. It would be much easier to poke your eyes out and cut off your feet than find the perfect gift for someone.

Something small? Something big?

Oh…it’s not hard trying to think of what to give to people. It’s just that…you’d find the lost city of Atlantis or the body of Jimmy Hoffa faster than you’d find that gift for that someone. Seriously, if there is ever a shop for unique and hard to find gift-like-things in this city…it’d make a killing. I mean…come on…is it so hard to stock a crystal penguin that doesn’t look like globs of balls stuck together?

Something flashy? Something discreet?

So what’s in a gift anyway? Who in the world started to think of something called…a gift. Back then when we’re probably running away from creatures that would otherwise rend the flesh of our bodies. What do you think inspired people to start giving things away? Hell…you know for a fact most people aren’t naturally altruistic anyway. We’d sooner tend to our own needs first before we tend to others. Being selfish isn’t just a human trait…it’s a survival trait.

Something personal? Something that says me?

Don’t even get me started on things like Christmas. The season of giving? It’s more like exchanging presents. There are a very very very few examples in the world where people give things without truly expecting something in return. It’s just not a natural act for human beings. We always want something in return…even if we don’t admit it to ourselves. Come to think of it…I can’t think of a single act that has no benefit returned to the giver. None at all.

Something expensive? Something cheap?

It doesn’t matter anyway, our society has already built up the “spirit of generosity”, which I think is a blunt hypocrisy anyway. But I suppose it’s good. Even if it’s a hypocrisy, its a useful one at that. Sometimes the needy get what they want, wishes for some are fufilled and the net result is…everyone is happy. If that isn’t a good thing, we’re all even more screwed than we should be.

Something you can eat? Something you can wear?

So where does that leave me? What do I get out of all this? A definite sore feet for sure, serious holes in my cash reserve and a headache to boot. Maybe a fight worth fighting, a present secured and a future assured. I’m not that crazy anyway, realising it may be a hypocrisy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make use of the system. That’s just plain naive if I didn’t. So…what the heck…

Something soulful? Something that says forever?

Perfect…

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