There is always a foreboding sense of unease and dread when you’re suddenly placed in a situation where you are surrounded by professionally older people who do the job you’re currently assigned to for a living. It somehow feels worse when they all seem to know each other and all you can do is stand there sweating from the heat trying to be cool and not act lost.
Unfortunately that much a cool character I am not.
Another oversight of taking tasks that push my social abilities to the absolute limit, then again, it’s a job and I suppose if no one cares that I’m there, I shouldn’t care that I feel like a complete idiot to begin with.
I just can’t help feeling trapped and overly paranoid.
I mean…it’s a press conference…for something I love to begin with. Why in the world should I feel uneasy? I can tell you why, it’s in an enclosed space with lots of people. Shouldn’t the rule of the thumb be that when you’re phobic towards things that interfere with your job, you shouldn’t run towards it.
I can tell you another thing.
I’m claustrophobic, sociophobic…and I’m running with a sissors towards it.
So yeah…that kinda gives you a few ideas on how much I felt like fleeing right that moment should I have not at least kept repeating in my head that I’m there for something I would kick myself to miss. It doesn’t help too that I’m still reeling in my current state of depression.
Why does this always happen to me?
When I’m down on the ground, life would just keep tossing things I seriously wouldn’t like.
You took away what I held dear the most!!
What more you want from me?!
Anyway screaming phobia aside and coming more to the point. Has that ever happened to you? Have that big wall of a phobia come smacking into you when you least expect it all at once and you can’t do anything but stand there because you can’t run either way?
Tell me this just doesn’t happen to only me, that you face it too.