Phobia Anonymous…

There is always a foreboding sense of unease and dread when you’re suddenly placed in a situation where you are surrounded by professionally older people who do the job you’re currently assigned to for a living. It somehow feels worse when they all seem to know each other and all you can do is stand there sweating from the heat trying to be cool and not act lost.

Unfortunately that much a cool character I am not.

Another oversight of taking tasks that push my social abilities to the absolute limit, then again, it’s a job and I suppose if no one cares that I’m there, I shouldn’t care that I feel like a complete idiot to begin with.

I just can’t help feeling trapped and overly paranoid.

I mean…it’s a press conference…for something I love to begin with. Why in the world should I feel uneasy? I can tell you why, it’s in an enclosed space with lots of people. Shouldn’t the rule of the thumb be that when you’re phobic towards things that interfere with your job, you shouldn’t run towards it.

I can tell you another thing.

I’m claustrophobic, sociophobic…and I’m running with a sissors towards it.

So yeah…that kinda gives you a few ideas on how much I felt like fleeing right that moment should I have not at least kept repeating in my head that I’m there for something I would kick myself to miss. It doesn’t help too that I’m still reeling in my current state of depression.

Why does this always happen to me?

When I’m down on the ground, life would just keep tossing things I seriously wouldn’t like.

You took away what I held dear the most!!

What more you want from me?!

Anyway screaming phobia aside and coming more to the point. Has that ever happened to you? Have that big wall of a phobia come smacking into you when you least expect it all at once and you can’t do anything but stand there because you can’t run either way?

Has it?

Tell me this just doesn’t happen to only me, that you face it too.

Does it?

3 thoughts on “Phobia Anonymous…

  1. I feel that in front of any audience. Got worse after I quit drinking.

    But I take comfort in the fact that, with my back against the wall, I never had a choice to begin with. So I’ll just go with the flow.

    It helped that I’ve been a huge David Letterman fan over the years, so now I’m the biggest bullshit artist on the trading floor! haha 

    Posted by Solb1 Kenobi

  2. My first interview with a corporate chief. I was really nervous that my voice was shaky at first. And I thought the questions I asked were stupid ones, but he was kind enough to answer all of them. The interview made the front page of the paper. Phew! But it’s not as bad as trying to sound like you know what you’re talking about at press conferences. :) 

    Posted by Norzu

  3. Hehehe…glad to know I’m not the only one fearful. Though…it just feels like I need to run out and catch air because it’s just so…stuffy and closed. Like the walls are coming down on me.

    I hate phobias. Seriously do. 

    Posted by Edrei

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