It’s funny though…how some things in life can’t easily be forgotten no matter how much you put them at the back of your mind. No matter how much you put take the step to move foward, some things will always have the power to make you look back. No matter how good you are in finding the answers to your problems.
They never really clean away from your slate.
There are problems that the world faces and there are problems that I face. Sometimes I would look to the world and try to find a solution to it in hopes of finding a solution for myself. Somedays he only solice I have is in the sticky marsh that other people tend to fall into. At least in giving a hand…it would take my mind off the things that would drag me down to that sticky pit.
But it doesn’t work that easily.
Even now, I can’t help but wonder what she is doing now. I can’t help to wonder what’s on her mind. I remember the times when I always asked her
“A penny for your thoughts?”
When she would give a simple answer, I would always up the ante to a nickle…and so on because I knew something else was on her mind. It was always that way between us. No matter what we said to hide our thoughts inside, we would always know that we were thinking of something else. We would always know what both of us would do in situatons we face. We would always read each other minds when someone else was talking. If that isn’t a call for a soulmate…
I don’t know what is.
Maybe it’s me being a dreamer that I say she is my soulmate. But…both of us have been through so much to call it anything else. From the moment we met…it’s like we’re bound by fate. Fine…if you don’t believe in coincidences that’s ok. But…I’ve lived and loved long enough to know that things happen for a reason.
I’ve fought and bled enough to see miracles happen.
So I’m not that crazy.
It doesn’t matter that we’re aquaintences or best friends or enemies or even lovers. All that doesn’t matter. For some reason…no matter what…no matter where, I sincerely believe that we are connected to each other in a way that no one else could understand but the people who have been in this situation before. We’re fated to play a hand together no matter what the destiny we choose.
I know it sounds completely loony to say it.
But…there is no way I can put it.
I just wish that You’d show me Your plan for the both of us.
I really wish You would.
But if anything, this is the thought in the darkest nights of my life. This is the other war I have to fight on my own. Not without, but within. To keep moving foward towards something I need to do and desire to have. To fight to put the past mistakes in their place and learn from it without feeling too sorry for myself. Because if I have that much faith in the ties that bind…then everything should right itself in the end with or without my hand to touch.
That is the power of reality itself.
I just wish I wasn’t the one to have been dealt the card of solitude.
If only I had the ace up my sleave.