It’s amazing what you can dig up when you least expect it. I found this really nice japanese song in an anime I was watching with some very very sweet lyrics. I guess, at this point…they would make alot of sense to me. It’s just too bad I can’t get the full translation for the song and this one I got…well…as you can see…probably lost some things in the translation.
But it has its own meaningful tune to it…at least that’s how I see it.
We met by chance.
It was only a whim of an angel.
This wind that blows through the streets.
It’s stirring up my heart.
Even though I’m used to avoiding pains.
Why is it that only in times like this, I can’t stop crying.
Especially in this uncertain season.
I can feel the faint touch with my heart.
Because we live in a limited time.
So spread your wings now.
Even if the rainbow is broken.
The sky will continue to wait for it.
So we’ll leave it at that. Another reminder of the memories that made life worth smiling at for those brief moments. Which is bad considering I keep playing the song over and over again. Strangely enough…doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. Yes it does hurt…but only when I start thinking about it. Which I try hard not to…and when I do…I’m always trying to keep the good memories intact.
Is it bad holding on to the good of a relationship past?
I mean. I don’t think bad thoughts. I don’t think much about the pain, frustration and isolation. It’s just the times that made us laugh. The times we fooled around with science. The times we fooled around with ourselves. The times when the world was nothing more than something to mark our footprints.
How could I be sad towards that?
As long as I hold on to those memories, she’ll always be with me. As long as I hold on to the reasons that kept me alive, I’ll always move foward in the better direction. Maybe a loss in the one you love with all your might is the same as when anyone looses something or someone. You don’t mourn the loss, you cherish the time spent. Maybe that’s what I should have been doing.
Maybe that’s what I should do to keep living.
Fine…I may be deluding myself. But this delusion at least isn’t self destructive. Maybe we’d be together again. I don’t know. But at least I won’t lose all the parts of myself I gained with her. I still would have some shreds of…hope and optimism.
I would have still have to rearrange my life. I’m not that delusional yet to still believe that she’s physically with me. But…it’s still the same. No one ever is gone…not while you maintain the shreds of memories of time spent.
Christ…I speak of her as if she died.
Then again…that hasn’t stopped me from bringing the dead back to life.
Some miracles do happen as long as we believe in it.
Is it right for me to hold on to this with all the might I have?
I don’t know.
But it sure beats living in that moment of torment.
Anything to put that behind in darkness.