Shattered Glass…

It’s WS-Day+7…

It’s been a week since Sarah has been away, so far no word from the people who have her. But I have every faith in the fact that she’ll be alright…that and the fact I also have things to take care off on my own. Having Sarah around would be a blessing…but I have to prove to SOMEONE that I’m not as dependant on technology as she thinks I am. How ironic…I blog everyday on what again?

So back to what I was talking about yesterday…what makes some of us the monsters that we are. I don’t know…I know I am a monster in my own right. I’ve always talked about how everyone could be everyone from the best to the worst because we’re all human. What about being one of the most depraved individual…does a person have to be that to catch people like that? Seems to me like the best way to do it. After all…it takes one to know one AND for their own kind to be the hunter of the hunters…would add a sense of ironic justice.

If I were to be in the mind of a rapist…how far would I go. A bad childhood? Maybe not.

My mother is overly protective over me, she constantly bickers and fusses over me, hitting me when I misbehave. She screams to me day and day out how pathetically stupid and weak I am. How I will amount to nothing in my life. My father? Always never there, whenever I see him he’ll be drunk…and he likes to hit my mother. I would have seen them having sex more than once…often when my father is in a state of drunkeness.

People in school never talk to me and I never talk to people. I know they all talk behind my back. They see the scars that my mother gives me. I hate them all…especially the girls. They are the ones that gossip the most. I hate them for that. I wish they could all pay for it. They will all pay…every single one of them.

I always wished that I was my father…how he has power over my mother. He is not the victim…she is. I hate my mother…I hate all women like my mother. I want to be like my father…he is strong. He fears nothing. They will ALL pay…I will show them all I’m not weak. I am NOT weak. They will all be the ones who will fear me. They will talk about me…not in mocking…but in fear. My name will be everywhere and I will not be touched by everyone. I will be revered by all. I am better than anyone of them.

Ok…maybe it ain’t exactly accurate. Like someone said…the mind is a complex thing to read. But given enough time, I believe that anyone can be emmulated. Given enough experience, anyone can be anyone else. It isn’t much of the experience that matters. I guess to me it’s the intensity of the feelings and how they interact within the individual. How a shattered mirror is pieced together into a broken whole….giving the reflections from every perspective of the mind.

I know many psychologists out there are going to start correcting me…and feel free to do so. Maybe I like to understand about it even more. Maybe I like to start looking into the mind of a monster. Maybe I want to see how far over the abyss I’ve walked over myself. How far I could go before it’s too late for me.

maybe it is too late for some of us…maybe it has already begun. Maybe some reflections aren’t as fictional as they are. Strange…somehow thinking of it gives me some comfort.

Smile smile…it’s another beautiful day…:)

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