Slowdown

Alright, so I’m now blogging in 2-3 day intervals compared to the intervals I did last time which was everyday. It’s usually caused by the fact I’m am pumped up for work that’s all. All my assignments or projects take a lot of my time in University. Plus the fact I’m still committed to my mission to change the world. I’m not brilliant, just well read…that’s why I have to work twice as hard to keep a decent grade as the rest. But I don’t want to be like the rest which means I have to work 3-4 times harder than my own batch. The Mission comes first even if it takes a toll on my physical self.

Which brings me to an interesting question. How much of this can I do by myself? The one thing about having a radical idea in which can change everything is the lack of people who’s actually spend time to commit to that. Always being the outsider even among friends isn’t helping me one bit. No matter what position I take, I am never just one of the gang. I’m either too busy doing my work, or I have to conform to the schedule I have. Yes…it does sound rigid and people tell me to shove it all. But at what cost? The many things that happen in my life that people say is good is because of those work or schedule. The right place at the right time with the right person.

The cost of which takes its toll on the deeper aspects of my social life. I can never have true friends because I’m never there when they can be with me. I always watch their backs yes…but to an extent. Never enough. I’m always in the position where people know me enough to know I’m something different for good or for bad. But not enough to know I’m just human to be there as a friend. Maybe that’s why I write these things down in my blog. At least people are able to read it and consider that I’m not outspoken or holier-than-thou or whatever people think of me. I’m just one guy trying to find friends in his life while trying his best to do things to what he knows.

Or maybe that’s the role I’m supposed to play. Who knows? What I know is. I just hope karmic law equilibrates this one well.

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