Still Sick And Out…

It’s been over a week now and my flu still shows no signs of abating. The constant headaches have now developed from light squeezing to full bodied blows from a hammer. I constantly wake up cold and very uncomfortable while having slight fever in the mornings. The amount of phlem I expell during the day is not just disgusting…it’s just alot.

To top that off…

I’m coughing traces of blood now.

Damnit, I haven’t had flu last this long since…ever. Well not at this intensity. I can walk, I can talk, I can do alot of things…but it’s just a very very ill feeling. I can hardly walk properly in the morning because I feel like my insides are about to be coughed out in a bloody mess.

The only thing that’s holding me up this moment is the fact I am lying down on my bed typing this. You would think that the weather is going to be of any help…but you’re wrong. It just so happens that as far as the temperature goes…it hit 1-2 degrees 2 nights ago…and it just SO happens that the heaters aren’t working. So yeah…that isn’t helping me one bit.

Why?!

What did I do to deserve this cold empty dark!!

All I asked for is at least a way for me to feel better in a warmer temperature.

What…you’re going to save all that heat for summer aren’t You? Can’t You for ONCE toss a little bit of leeway? You always do this don’t You? Whenever I’m down on my knees, You’d like to kick me a few more times to make sure I stay down.

What’s wrong with You?

You know I’m not going to stay down. You know that very well, but still you do it. You took away everything that meant something to me but my sense of purpose. I doubt I have enough dignity left considering the situation I’ve been through. Just for ONCE.

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!?

Just say something will You?

Anything.

Just give me an answer.

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