Being what used to be a nerd myself, I have always believed that in the end, every nerd and geek out there would have to wake up to the day when they are the ones that will have the things they want and everyone will look up to them. This is not uncommon anyway for us, after all…that is one of the reasons why I bother to wake up at all in the morning.
Sometimes though I’d just go back to sleep.
But that’s another story.
My point in all this is something that I realised today in a conversation which does makes a lot of sense to begin with. As nerds in high school, we are often the ones that were always left behind in the social crowd. We were always the unoticed, the outcasts, the uncool kids akin to the a caste system similar to the untouchables of old India. Maybe I’m exaggerating it a bit, but there were many a days when we were always alone for the sole reason that we couldn’t really relate to anyone else at all.
Then of course, we graduated and everything changed.
In college and university, your old popularity didn’t matter anymore. Suddenly all nerds were placed in a position where we could rewrite our social positions from the mistakes we learnt in the past. Depending on what we had at our disposal, each of us set out to redefine our own sense of popularity that we never had before.
All a sudden…all of us in many ways became attention seekers.
It doesn’t matter how we did it, whether we were oozing with money as a techno-metrosexual wannabe, whether we’re the rock scene dude who knew everyone or whether we became the one ladies man who fixed all your problems, it didn’t matter how we were getting it, it mattered that deep inside we believed that we deserved all that attention simply because we have a right to be right.
Even if that meant our own self destruction in the first place.
It’s hard for people who found it easy to have friends to understand this stubborn change in persona, but when I come to think of it, all nerds who have this opportunity in the first place waste little time to make the full use of it just so we can have all the things we never had in high school…without control…without any stopping to it.
I have to admit, I’m one of those nerds who has rewritten himself into something completely different from high school. There are people in high school that has never believed or seen the sides of me that some of you people know me to be. There are probably other people like me out there with that complete change in outlook as their past can ever testify. Yet the only thing that never changes and one thing many of us would admit to is that we would always seek attention believing that we are rarely wrong.
The right to be right as nerds would only know.
There is no escaping from the fact that power corrupts the unaware. There is also no escaping from the fact that freedom without self-control is fatalistic. Then there is no denying that the years of repressed need for attention into a world where anything is possible for us nerds has that one fatal flaw.
That even though the new found freedom and power breeds the new generation non-stereotypical geeks.
There is that darker side we have to pay the price of.
The one that never is satisfied.
The one that can be our own eventual downfall.
The one who wears our own face in the mirror of our own worst enemy.