Why is it everytime I’m about to leave the places I find nothing but trouble in, I find a reason to stay a little bit longer? What kind of serendipity is this? All I know is that it’s your regular kismet when I realised that this is the same feeling of regret and mellowness I had in me as I did the last time I was leaving.
Talk about your sentimental attachment.
But I guess that’s always as it goes. I mean…the holidays are at an end and I’ve got a few days left to pack up all my things and settle my life here before I go. I came back with the sole reason that I wanted to win back the woman I love with everything at my disposal.
Then again, nothing really goes according to plan.
But I now leave with a certain quality in myself that I had before all of this started. Finding and making better then best and worst things in you that you can afford to do alone. I find myself leaving and learning that there are things in life that you have to either accept and embrace or pay for the responsibility of your inactions.
For the past three months, I have push to the limits of my own self and paid many a price for it in the darkness which holds no one but myself. I have found strength in the will of determination and fallen to the pitfalls of regret. I have done things that I as a person won’t normally do and suffered though the nightmares that not many people normally see.
To think all this happened because of one girl.
It’s funny when you realise that all that happened is just you trying to deal with the consequences of things that happened around how you feel for the person you still care for. To think that in a way, some good things still happen because I still do care for her the way I do…even if you have to bleed severly to pull it off.
But that’s just me.
After all…I’m the kind of guy who believes that everything in life has a reason no matter how obscure and irrelevent it is. That in the end, those that hold true to their dreams and desires will have their own last laugh even if they have to go through hell and back again because everything done leads to the path that you’re willing to choose for your own self.
So as I sit here and putting all my things together.
I just have to wonder.
What reason do I have bringing 4 pairs of shoes back to Australia?
Damned if I know…I’ve got better things to think off.