Why is it that somehow some point in my life…I’m drawn towards the problems of others no matter what. Even though I don’t go to it, it will come to me. When it does, I can never turn away. Sadly this makes my girlfriend very angry at times, but I seriously don’t want to seem like I’m neglecting her. I love her alot but I also have a personal calling in life which is to help people. I can’t abandon that as well. So what comes first I figure, is the person closest to me, which is of course my girlfriend. One thing we all learn is that one of the most important things in love is about compromise. I know she has done alot of things for me, and to play my part I have to willingly compromise my call to help people because she deserves better. But I hope she understands too that sometimes, people do need help. As much as this world is a horrible horrible place, we at least have to try to do the best we can to make it better, even if it keeps kicking us in the ass all the time.
My God in Heaven…why is it these past few days, there isn’t any humour in my life? Oh sure, I got myself free GSC tickets, I’m on probational trial in our University’s Student Council and everything seems good. But it’s like I can’t find any sense of humour in my life…or anywhere else. Aside from the misery of others (which is morbid, I know), there is no source of joy in my life. I’m back to my usual unemotional self.
Hmmm, I’m betting it’s all the effect of studying and the additional work I recently have. I get pretty cold when it comes to the job at times, that’s who I am. I do hope it doesn’t affect my relationship. That’ll be bad. But I can’t help be feel nothing. The scariest thing is that it doesn’t bother me to feel nothing.
That’s something to think about alright. Maybe if I’m surrounded with alot of happy people I’d start leeching their emotions. That’s an idea. Yes…must put some thought into it. Now…where did I put my chocolate bar?