Thoughts From The Toilet…

Usually I’m the last one to complain that women are the most irritatingly confusing creatures on Earth. Then again, sometimes I’m not that patient and I will now say that women are the most irritatingly confusing creatures on Earth. I mean no offense to all my girl friends out there but.

Why in the name of God do you toy with us so?

Not all men are not the emotional rocks of yesteryears. I’m really sorry but we do not certainly resemble the swashbuckling manly captain of the seas with nerves of steel…or was that some other part of our body? We’ve got feelings to you know. As much as we try and arrange it carefully, it still can come crashing down like London Bridge on Humpty Dumpty.

Not a pretty sight as I have been demonstrating a lot lately.

Some days you can be so cold and cruel at times and then still come back to care for me when I least expect it. I don’t know how else to feel but so utterly confused. I mean, I’m not depressed that you do that. Hell…I am always deliriously happy that you do but it still makes me always ask this question.

Why do we stand where we are now?

Even though you’re one hell of a choice for a security blanket, you’re the only security blanket that can put all the nightmares out of reach in the past. The only person I would be willing to listen to despite all the arguments I may put up. And the only person that would actually stand up for me even if you know it isn’t effective. Of all the people who have said their words, you’re the only one I’ve seen back me up when the chips matter.

That much I can say despite all that’s happened.

Why else would I be stuck in the middle of this limbo between what you mean to me and what we are to each other? Its not the easiest thing to deal with, but yet, it’s the only thing we have to really deal with that would take so much effort not to feel that stabbing pain of loss and the feeling of so much stupidity for our actions.

I hope this is one nightmare we will wake up from one day.

I hope that day is soon.

I hope I’m not wrong in waiting.

I’m hoping for a shitload of things.

But for following through some of that hope last night anyway.

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