Three weeks ago I did something I’m not really proud off. I let Edward do what he usually does…be abrupt. Of course…nothing is without prices to pay. I spend alot of time of my life trying to give people another option in things they have no control over. People who, because of oversights on their part make the choices that don’t always play out nicely.
Three weeks ago…I did the exact same thing that I would usually tell people NOT to do. As such I needed a good kick in the butt to remind me that I was going against the very thing I was supposed to uphold. I don’t know…sorry seems out of place because it’s just a word is it not? It’s something I need to go out to show people. But saying it is a start. I’m sorry for having you lose faith in me. I’m sorry for disappointing you as the person you thought I could never be.
That’s why having a friend means being able to recieve the kick in the butt everytime you are about to make the worst mistake of your life. Sure enough…I was this close to making one. But I guess everything…SHOULD be fine now. Maybe a few loose ends to settle, a few skeletons to arrange in the closet, but otherwise…another problem on its way down.
You know…after all this. You know what I learnt? I learnt in the end, there is no reason why we should have the gender thinking of “being a man” or “being a woman“. To me, it makes no difference what gender you’re on. In the end, it’s about taking responsibility for your own actions, taking to heart the price of what you did and living up to your end of the peverbial karmic bargian.
However, I lost sight whether or not my actions are the responsible one. But I forgot that in being an adult, I’m not just responsible for myself, but for the lives of the people around me. I forgot that. Maybe it’s good that what happened so far, happened. It only served to remind me how interconnected we all are and how much something we do can affect others as well.
I guess as always, taking anything to perspective…everything has its own place.
Even if that place comes from sweat and tears…