It seems like the more and more I live each day out here, the more and more I realize that I was right all along to be more than a little unforgiving towards the outside world. It’s not that I can’t get along with people, it’s just that after a while you begin to realize that it’s not worth it to share your ideals, thoughts and opinions on a personal level with the general public because they haven’t the ability to grasp at them.
Then again, why wouldn’t they? The bulk of society subscribes to tradition, culture and herd mentality. In their quest to find their own identity they lose themselves in the identity of the masses rather than the identity of self. Each “individual” on this level a social clone of one another, pining away at their expensive coffee, their high tech gadgets and their fancy cars while at the same time wanting to “save the planet”. The hypocrisy is thick enough to cut with a knife. But if any of you think my point is that we should become Luddites and tree hugging hippies, don’t get me started on that too because I’m not asking you to.
I am tired of enduring day after day, listening to the pretentious armchair quarterbacking people come up with as a result of watching too much TV or hearing out something “someone said once”. I’m tired of being the only voice of reason shouting as loud as I can only to remember that people don’t bother to listen to reason because it’s “too difficult” to understand. I am tired of forcing myself to close an eye to the rest of the world because that was never who I am.
It’s times like this that I need to remind myself that I am a scientist. It’s part of our life to work beyond the scope of the box that the whole world is accustomed to living in. Sometimes we forget that normal people don’t want to understand rational and reason, nor can they see the same things we do. They defend themselves in fear of their own truths while we seek out the ones even they don’t admit for themselves. Does this make the rest of the world right? No. This this make us better? Yes. Does this make it our responsibility to set things straight? Most definitely.
Because at the end of the day, in every profession that appreciates and advocates knowledge above all, in every true person of science, there is a sociopath in all of us. Our unending quest to make the world right again because we know we are right. No beliefs, tradition or culture to dictate why we should do the things we do. Only that we ask why not do them? Why not find what can’t be found? Why not do what can’t be done? The normal world tells us we can’t change it and we know better that the normal world is wrong. So why not? The world has always been our playground. Why not push the button? We know it’s going to brilliant.
I am that sociopath. I have always been. I was born and raised to be one. As much as I tried to fit in before as a sociopath of society’s making. I realize I have to be a sociopath of my own making. One born from knowledge and curiosity. One committed to actualizing dreams that go beyond what any normal person is capable of making the remotest sense of. Part of me stopped caring for a large part of the world a long time ago because there wasn’t a point in handling the symptoms of the problem but the problem itself. It’s about time I stopped getting worked up about the rest of it because they are the frogs in the well, trying to describe how the rest of the world should work for them.
I used to think that being a sociopath was always a bad thing. These days though, it’s bloody brilliant to be one.