A few weeks ago, I finally admitted to the truth that I am actually working for penguins in the hopes that they will one day rule the world. It turns out now, that they were very close to doing so once upon a time before.
The 36 million year old fossil of a 5 feet tall penguin with a 7 inch beak and powerful arms was recently discovered in Peru. Needless to say that if it didn’t evolve into the much smaller version of its descendants, it would have finally evolved opposable thumbs and continued it’s conquest to take over the world. The discovery raises some very important questions as well, like how were they adapting to the heat at a time when Earth was one giant sauna, because it was believed that penguins of this size could have never existed in warmer climates.
Other questions that could be raised from this discovery was that did the giant penguins discover some dark secret that caused their extinction so many millions of years ago? Could their diabolical plan for world domination still be passed on from generation to generation in the hopes of oneday returning to the peak of their evolutionary form and exacting their plan? Could I eventually be the instrument to which they will return in their perfected form?
Some question do not have an answer just yet.
However, I for one revere this monster of a penguin. It might not be the cuddly things I giggle at in cuteness right now, but it shows that once before it was something to be feared, just as it will be again when the time comes. One day, I would welcome our new penguin overlords into the world and prove that it’s always better to be the right hand of the devil rather than stand in it’s path.