Can We Talk About…Sex…Again?

In reference to my last post regarding the governments decision to start enforcing the prohibition of sexual articles which includes sexual articles and Q&A columns in magazines and newspapers. It’s pretty obvious that a lot of people and not just myself are seriously baffled at the sheer cluelessness that the higher ups seem to have regarding the entire matter.

Unfortunately, that’s not where the fault lies.

Bear with here for a moment.

From reading and talking to a lot of people, it strikes me that a lot of people tend to place a certain importance on the media (magazines and net), peers and the government when it comes to sexual education. But am I the only one here that feels like we’re forgetting the most important teachers of life here?

You know?

Our parents?

That’s right. To me at least sex is something personal, intimate, emotional and maybe even a little spiritual. With something that important in your life, it’s important that you get of to a right start from your own home before you hear about weird things out there.

To anyone who is a parent or…well…to anyone really. Sex isn’t something to be embarrassed about. When you come to think of it, ask yourself why are you embarrassed about it in the first place? How can sex be any different than talking about anything else in life. After all it’s part of our biological nature, it’s all over the news, hell…it’s something you probably have done to begin with. If you think that this shyness is an asian value. Consider this again.

There are plenty of western parents who are embarrassed to talk to their kids about sex too.

It doesn’t make things any easier on all of us.

And if anyone is scared that talking to their children about sex would ruin their innocence. Maybe you should also consider this. A child doesn’t lose their innocence because they know about a few more things in the world. A child begins to lose their innocence when they find out they have been kept in the dark about things they should have known.

Things people they trust should have told them about.

I was a child once too…I can vouch for that.

Forgetting that something as wholesome and important as sex ever existed in our own home and leaving that responsibility to the outside world is one of the worst thing you could prepare your child for. Sex isn’t meant to be put down on a piece of paper or handled by peers of even complete strangers. I know it may be hard for a lot of parents. I know it’s not the easiest thing in our culture, but if you let the world teach your child sex, who knows what your child may learn from who?

It may be from someone who doesn’t know anything.

It may be from a person who has a bad opnion of it.

Or worse…it may be from a complete pervert.

No matter how much people try to shield us from things. Something as natural as sex cannot be kept hidden forever. One way or another, we will know. Hell…I knew about sex when I was 7. I may have my sexual quirks here and there but it didn’t turn me in a high risk, disease spreading pervert. Every child will find out sooner or later whether you make it your responsibility or not.

Forget our schools single topic section on reproduction. Forget the mostly entertaining and informative reads of sexual articles and Q&A sections in magazines and newspapers. Forget your peers who giggle whenever they hear the word “dick” or “pussy”. Let’s definitely forget the government’s views on sex education.

Only you can determine how well you prepare your child for that world filled with sex.

Let ignorance be an option no more.

14 thoughts on “Can We Talk About…Sex…Again?

  1. Well, I did mention this in my entry :

    “How are we going to educate people about safe sex so to reduce the rising number of AIDS patients in this country. Parents are too protective over their kids to want to expose them to this taboo subject…”

    Basically ppl were quite shocked when even Q&A would be removed because c’mon…seriously speaking most parents in our society has yet to learn to open up more when it comes to the topic of sex. Thank goodness my parents are not like that.

    But you’re right, it doesn’t matter how much ppl try to shield us from this. There is always the INTERNET =P Just hope they won’t put those net nanny stuffs on all our lines to stop us from acquiring online sex knowledge.

  2. Haha…I think at the end of it all, the kid would learn how to bypass Net Nanny and other net censoring programs. Besides…sex knowledge online? Isn’t that hard to find? The only things you can easily find online in regards to sex are the thousands of porn sites that populate the place.

    That is always why the best line of defence before we reach that stage is that we have our parents teach us that. Though…my parents never did, they were…squeemish about it. I was lucky anyway. They did the best they can and got me all the right books instead and I had science on my side despite my hungering curiosity especially in regards to sex.

  3. Since young age, I already have sexual arousal, but just don’t know how it works. I remember drawing pictures of man and woman doing it, but with no details. bcoz I just don’t know how it works. And it funny how we used to think that having children will come naturally after one is married, just like god gift. Those were innocent days.

    I learned my sexual thingy entirely from tapes (VHS). yeah, back then I was the taiko in school, I like being mischievious and many teachers hated me. I was first exposed to it during around standard 6, my first tape was that of taiwan, i think so.

    Anyway, don’t get me wrong. I was eventually addicted to it through high schools. Ok, I didn’t have any girlfriend or visiting any prost. (I thank god for that..really) But it did spoiled my life to certain extend until I was terribly sick one time, I decided to give up watching porn as a must in life. (u know what i mean?) It is like something addicted to smoking.

    However, I don’t agree on total censoring because those tapes were my sex education. really. My father never taught us anything nor mentioned anything. and definitely I don’t know how he learned it too. (haha) So it has to start from somewhere. Once we were caught by teacher (high school) for having porn tapes.. I was the source and I actually defended by decision that it is our sex education. We weren’t bad guys really. Anyway, we were punished by cleaning the whole school for one month.

    and these days, the Internet also doing good. Those porn site actually requires login before viewing of contents, which is good. This helps to filter off many people. So there is actually no need to go hard on Internet censorship because the Internet is supposed to be a liberated world. otherwise, democracy really don’t exist, alright.

    Trust me, young people…, porn can indeed spoil your life if you are over-indulged.

    Get the right educations and be spiritual strong.Stay balance with life. It is better to get a partner to express your feelings than staying back enjoying those tapes.

  4. Well…I’m used to porn because well…I’ve been watching it since I was 7 anyway. I’m so used to it that I don’t see anything wrong with it. Though you got the gist of it though.

    If we’re taught to be responsible for it. There would be no need for such censorship to begin with. That bad cycle of ignorance has to end one way or another.

  5. I teach my kids on sex education as there starter their secondary school. It’s not that one chapter lesson, done that’s it. it’s kind of little ,little steps. Safe sex and pregnancy.It’s kind of one to one pep talk .you know maybe Q & A. I always tell them i am very open for this type of talks. My daughter will always ask the mother but my son will always seek the info from me.

  6. yes, and u are goin to teach the kids that when the time comes. i’ll be busy being an occupational therapist 🙂

  7. Hahah…my mom usually gives her motherly advice (no son so the mother does the job in advising us not the daddy) to us when so happen there’s some intimate scene in the tele or some articles in the newspapers or when she reads all those Q&A columns.

    Sometimes I even go “OMGGGGGGGG, can that actually fit in there???” and then she would explain in detail about everything. Fuh.

  8. Thquah: I was planning on a little younger for my kids to begin with. Say the same age I knew about sex. 🙂

    Kris: Boy or girl it doesn’t matter. I’m impartial you lazy pig.

    S-Kay: You’re lucky you had a mother like that. I had to find out for myself first hand how that goes about. 🙂 Never going to make that mistake again when I have kids. 🙂

  9. my parents NEVER talked to me about sex. in fact, my mother has only started using the word “sex” around me recently. and i just turned 20. good grief.

    it’s no use beating up past generations of parents for not playing the role as main sex educator. it’s more important that we, as future mothers and fathers, promise ourselves and our kids-to-come that we won’t leave them in the dark the same way most of us were.

  10. In this Internet age, anything that is awkward or one felt uneasy when dealing with the younger children, “Go search in the Internet”. The days when sex education depending on VHS tapes, friends chat etc. is possibly over…there should be a refeshed new way of getting the message through.

  11. Jax: It started at home and it should very well end at home. One way or another, problems like this would disappear if parents would be a little honest with their children about what sex is all about and dispell all the cultural taboo surrounding it. It would only end there.

    Spectrakia: There is no school like the old school. Leaving sex education to other factors as I said would only leave a lot of problems because there is no certain control where the information comes from or what the information contains.

  12. For that to all change, we first need to change the way we look at sex and human sexuality. Part of why sex education or even talk of sex is deemed as taboo is because society as a whole sees it as such – not to mention the fact that there is a misinterpretation of ‘real’ sex education. People often think of sex ed as teaching students how to go about doing it but on the contrary, sex is just more than the physical stuff – it also involves a lot of emotional and social reprecussions (sp?).

    Censoring stuff on the grounds that these things, if gone unchecked, will lead to the corruption of morals is a complete white-washing of the real issues underlying our society and ultimately of sex itself – such as addiction to sex/porn, fetishes, healthy relationship building, etc. People forget that once upon a time ago, the greatest human civilisations practised these things openly and without prejudice.

    Also, I suppose we can look at this from another perspective and see how patriachal values are being practiced – government telling us what we should or should not do – just as how our parents would. Is this where we start absorbing our first lessons as parents?

    Sorry for the babble. Just that I have many thoughts on sex ed which I’m planning to expand later on in my thesis. :p

  13. Mei: Too true…then like Jax said, it would in the end be up to us to at least change something about it. Being in the 21st century with all the knowledge we know and all the experiences we have gone through, it would be wise of us to be the harbingers to at least educate out children to think about sex as openly as before with responsibility that we are aware off. The least some of us can do is to help other people understand too that sex shouldn’t be something shy and taboo to talk about and not just wait till we have kids. Hopefully…that would be enough to make a difference.

  14. hahahaha…yes…u shal teach both of them. i heard enough in the lecture abt sexology last sem and my exam paper had this major section about sex education. gave me a headache thinking about that. so i’ll leave it to u 😛

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