Four days in a row. Four completely different people. All cancelled watching Chronicles Of Narnia with me. You know that has got to be the saddest, most pathetic course of social events that has happened to me ever since I got back from Australia. But that doesn’t really matter.
You know, it’s weird. When I was in Australia, I missed the height of the Blogosphere events. This was a time when so many people were having blog gatherings almost every week and in short everyone I know kinda has met almost everyone else I know in a way. I don’t know what I was expecting when I got back, that people would want to still go out and have blog meets almost every week.
Of course, the reality of it is, that isn’t the case. Though I am extremely thankful for Lucia for having that small blog gathering in which I immedietly jumped to go because I am that deprived of any social event and hers was a breather from an otherwise mind numbing lazy Sunday afternoon. There is supposed to be a blog gathering at the end of the year in which by all account no one knows what’s going on and most likely I can’t attend the last one of the year because I will be somewhere else. But that doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter that I missed out on so many social outings and so many things that I want to do due to the fact I was somewhere else or had something to do and people felt like getting together at those particular times when I happened to be busy. It doesn’t really matter at all.
Before all this, I would have been angry. I would have thrown a tantrum and ask God why designed in such a way that while I am in the best positions to be at the right places at the right times for people in need, the timing completely sucks when I would want to be where I want? I would have been depressed for weeks on end without any hope of consolation from anyone because people are just too damn far and have their own lives and own problems to deal with in which for some reason I bear confidante to. I would have been all that, but it really doesn’t matter.
Because what does matter is, my faith in humanity is restored. Things like this are bound to happen whenever people and me mix. It’s been happening since I could remember and I will happen for as long as I continue remembering. As sad and pathetic as it is, it is a normal thing. So why should I get ticked off over normal things?
As I said before, if I had to beat myself up for every time things like this happen to me. I wouldn’t be tenderised meat, it’s pretty safe to say I’d pretty be mush. So rather than being something completely indigestable to the human psyche, I decided to really take it with a pinch of salt.
It’s not easy, no one goes from being known throwing a tantrum over missed social events to the next Buddha in a matter of weeks…which is why I’m blogging about this rather than being able to keep it in. Then again as much as there is that spark of disappointment that despite my sincerest efforts to take everyone’s advice and go out and meet people and still end up with no difference, as much as that disappointment is there, in a way that’s what I have come to expect from people. As long as I know I’m comfortable with it, there is no reason to scream bloody murder now is there?
So yeah…in life, in my life at least. You can’t count on the people you want to count on. It just runs smack up to your face. At the end of it, you just have to count on the yourself and the people that count on you. Where is goes from there…well now…we’ll just take it one step at a time.