When you’re cut off from the world around you, news that appears to have swept the communities you were once a part of no longer holds any meaning in itself. What you can do is glance at them in emptiness and wonder how were you ever a part of it.
When you think about it, much of what we do and what we feel are obligated to do is a direct result of the world around us. It’s hard to imagine we could do anything else but what we’ve been doing simply because we have never tried to do anything else. Short of being forced to walk outside of our own comfort zones, rarely will we freely discover what else we would like, rarer still would be even what else we’re truly meant for in this world.
Yet being out here, cut off from the world I’m most comfortable with. Cut off from the self-imposed obligations and responsibilities that I try so hard to achieve, there is a certain sense of freedom that I have long fought for. Here in the remote corner of central New South Wales, I’m walking the line that I have never walked before, learning to see things I could have not perceived given my usual lifestyle. I’m not saying I’m going to abandon the life that I have lived, but maybe there are things in my life I can do without, if only to come closer to what I’ve tried so hard to embrace.
Maybe freedom doesn’t have to be about working your soul to the bone to reach the things you’ve ambitiously set yourself out to grab. Maybe at the end of it, freedom means letting go of the interwoven rules that make you the person you are. While that means changing the very fibre of your being, did you really think that achieving your own personal freedom wouldn’t change who that you are?
Maybe I have lost my ability to tell you stories. Maybe I’ve lost the ability to give out and argue perceptions that defy the social norm. What I haven’t lost is my ability to tell you the things that you would never have considered. Maybe this is the time and place for me to start suggesting a few alternate options of my own. In this place of away from what I know and love, maybe all I really need isn’t the obligations I have to fight for everyday. Maybe all I need is a home I can carry with me close to my own heart. One that allows you to do everything in the world and hold nothing back.
I know I have that already. It’s just a matter trying to remember that I will always have it when I return to the life I live. I don’t think any of you are willing to remind me from here on end, are you?