It’s becoming harder and harder to make a point these past few weeks. These days, it just feels like my brain is being ripped in two by opposing forces of the moment. One, determined to deal with every single issue I have at hand, objective or emotions, whether or not it is out of my control. The other, determined to escape into a world where I do nothing at all in the face of everything that is around me.
So far, escapism has the upper hand.
For the time being at least, my mind is focused on two things. My recent advancement in responsibilities at my workplace and the impending NaNoWriMo which I have never done in my life. Both equally monumental in what is required to accomplish them and both equally important for very different reasons.
I know it is easy to say that, by concentrating on them hard enough, everything else would just become background noise that I can easily ignore. If I had that kinda of ability to begin with, I wouldn’t be known for carrying a lot of emotional baggage over my back. But for now, I will at least try and see it through. After all, If I can be so adamant in my own melancholy, there is no reason the same stubbornness can’t be used in telling you that I am trying to do something more productive.
The only thing I wish I didn’t have to feel right now is uninspired.
Escapism does after all take its toll in so many ways.