Going Round The Mountain…

Sometimes you can’t help it can you? Sometimes when you think you have the best things in life, you’d poke it, prod it and push it until it breaks. Then go back into saying that life is that horrible mess that you should forget about anyway. As always, the sense of irony must be some joke on some cosmic level.

Because this time…I’m the one who’s facing the music.

It’s funny, the hope I have for the future I want lies in understanding whatever I have done before, not as a lesson to never repeat it, but to be with the person I am sticking with now. Through thick or thin, despite what other people would do or what other people would say, I am in a position where I am now simply because I am looking at a reflection of myself in the mirror.

I know what it means to push until something breaks.

I know that’s why I am staying put.

It’s funny also how much punishment I am willing to take to get to what I want. More than enough for other people to call me stupid and crazy. More than enough for people to stop caring about me because it isn’t worth their time. It’s just…well…it sure surprised the hell out of me for what I have done and what I’m still doing.

There isn’t much to judge on the ambitions that are too high to reach for now.

But to succeed in something you were willing to put to the limits to get.

Life does give you what you earn.

No doubt about that.

So it goes back to where I stand at this moment. The good and the bad and whatever happens on the way. I’ve lived that position. I’ve seen that position and I know the consequence of leaving a person in that condition. The only thing I can do is live with the consequence of dealing with the condition the way it should be done.

The way that sticks by them in the hardest of times.

It’s the least I can do.

It’s the most I can push myself to be.

But I’ll earn my keep.

You know I always have.

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