If there is anything in life that I have been doing right for a long time, part of it is the fact that I take my word very seriously. Sometimes to the fact that I can’t let go of it no matter what the cost. It’s a small price to pay to keep a promise, but then again, what are promises if you don’t have the conviction to keep to them.
After all I am who I am.
Then again, these days when I come to think about it, promises are all that I can do to keep myself in line especially when they are the right promises to the right people. It’s not like I have people there to constantly remind me to be strong or take care of myself or anything. At least with this, I can tell myself that there are people I shouldn’t let down.
Which to me is more important than my own damn self.
Though come to think of it, lately I’ve been making a hell lot of promises to so many people about my own well being and even though a lot of it I’ve already done on due course, there is still a lot I have to contend with along the way. I mean here are some of the promises I have made to some people:
1. At least get some sleep no matter what.
2. Don’t depend so much on stimulants.
3. Go see a doctor for a medical checkup.
4. Eat proper food at least once a day.
5. Don’t rely on drinking to take my mind of things.
6. Take care of “personal business” when the need arises.
I know it’s for my own good even though I don’t take it into consideration at all. As long as I make sure I don’t break any of their promises to people, I should be in the clear on things. Of course…WHEN I keep to some of those promises is another thing altogether. I mean…you do have to be politically correct in any case, and if there is one thing I learnt from someone in my life…it’s to be politically correct about the promises you make.
You didn’t really expect to me to fold to nicely everytime you want me to do something now right?
That much of a pushover I am not.
But I can’t deny that for the most part, I have to have people promise them I’d do things to take care of my well being. Does that mean they care for me? Probably so or I’d have to be an idiot to not see they mean well and that gives me some small comfort to carry out these promises, if not for my own well being then at least for the people who would have enough concern to make me promise them of such things.
So in a way, no matter how little I take care of my, at least I still do to the extent I have to. It’s not much but it’s a start.
A start of what…I don’t really know.
But at least I can say it won’t end up with me being worse for wear.
That is at least a good thing.