I was wide awake the night before, I’ve been drifting off to sleep early these days, then regretably wake up in the middle of the night and spend 2 or 3 hours wide awake because my body usually needs very little sleep to begin with. I remembered being propped up on the pillow with my arm around her and her hand on my chest. It’s one of those pleasant things in life that you can never tired off.
You know how you’re doing absolutely nothing at all in the middle of the night, then you suddenly remember what it is you’ve forgotten and it hits you with a sedden realization? Yeah, that was about the time I was hit with my sudden realization. For the past few days, I have fogotten to blog.
I mean, it’s not that the landlords of my house are a perpetual pain in the ass with whatever that have been doing to the net line lately. It’s the fact for the past few days, I haven’t had the urge to blog let alone do the things that I do with blogs. It just slipped my mind entirely to do such a thing.
Then I suppose the answer is kinda obvious why I haven’t been blogging much with her wrapped around my arms in the cool night air. One of the reasons why I blog in the first place is the fact that I have the outlet I need to not go completely insane with all the bottled up thoughts that I have on things. One of the reasons I blog is to give myself a way to fufill the void in my social life that has otherwise been hindered by…well…a lot of things.
Having her around does fill up those voids in my life and gives me an outlet to talk to that I otherwise have been substituting with blogging. It’s as if all the things that mattered for me to blog about has suddenly lost their meaning and is as inconsequential as yesterday’s packet of instant noodles I had for breakfast (though some people would blog about those sorts of things. Whatever makes them happy I suppose).
So where does that leave me? The same I guess. Blogging has always been always been an ever changing flow of the tide. There are days when you could just blog 3-4 times a day and weeks where you can go without it. The reasons why we keep at it differs from person to person as uniquely as each individual themselves. All that is right now is that I have to take what I have now and put it alongside the life that I have been living. I actually have a life that comes with blogging and I’m not going to throw that away because I have another part of life to live. That would be like leaving behind all my friends behind because I’m spending more time with someone else (which I might have, but that’s another story altogether).
The morning after found her watching me as I was stirring awake.
Mel: You haven’t talked about your blog in a while.
Me: Guess I haven’t had anything to blog about.
Mel: (Mock gasp) Are you alright? What did you do to the real Edrei?
Me: Very funny. But for some reason all the things that I would blog about doesn’t seem to matter anymore when I’m around you.
Mel: That’s nice, but if you don’t blog soon, you’re going to lose friends and money and that isn’t very nice, especially the money part.
Me: You know, if I didn’t know better, I could have sworn that you’re as attracted to money as much as you’re to me.
Mel: Well…more reason for you to blog and for me to have both right?
She has a point and so here I am. Now I just have to find out how to turn all this into more money. That’s however is another thought for another sleepless night.