I Dream Of You

All I could do was stare helplessly as she walked down the aisle. She was about to be betrothed to a man she didn't love.

I yelled for ceremony to stop. Yelled because I knew she deserved better. Yelled because I wished in my heart that it was me that she was walking towards. But no one could hear me. She couldn't hear me. She kept walking towards a future I know she didn't want.

I ran to stop her. Ran to prevent her from making a mistake she would regret for the rest of her life. Ran to her because she still meant something to me and I wasn't just going to let her cry the rest of her years away. But I couldn't reach her. No matter how much I pushed forward, she was still out of my reach.

She turned back. Her sorrowful eyes pleading not for help, but for forgiveness. She has made her choice and there is nothing I can do about it. Once upon a time it would have made a difference what we did. Now, what's left is the fleeting memory of our pasts and promises that will never be fulfilled. Her eyes moist with tears she looks at me one last time and mouths the words.

I wake up to the sound of an incoming text message. My arms wrapped around the one I now love, cradling her gently as she sleeps. I check my phone. My eyes still groggy and my mind echoing the words spoken to me in the dream.

"Je rêve de toi"

I read my message. "I dreamt about you today…"

Sometimes I wished she'd just call in advance.

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Eli James wrote from on March 31, 2007 at 23:58 and said:

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Oh, and I finally figured out where I first heard of your blog - a StarTwo editorial 4 years ago, about Malaysian blogs as *cough cough* a diary-like medium. It was actually that article that started me on blogging! Whoah!

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estarla wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 01:10 and said:

I liked this. And I was just going to applaud you for stopping her…

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Im the crazy kiwi wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 08:25 and said:

I believe dreams happen for a reason. They always mean something. Im not entirely sure what this dream means but it is deep…
Unfortunately my mind just hit a brick wall so Ill leave it at that.
Love ya Ed!

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Kamigoroshi wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 08:45 and said:

Eli: 4 years ago? You sure? I mean, this blog just turned 4. I don’t think I was in the papers that early until about 2 years ago. Still is a part diary blog though. That much I can’t run away from. Not in here.

Estarla: I didn’t stop her. I tried in real and even in my dreams but I couldn’t. She has her own life to run.

Tracy: Love ya too. All dreams happen for a reason. I know what this meant. At least after I read the other parts of the message. That of course I’ll keep to myself.

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ChickyBabe wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 10:57 and said:

Wow… brilliant piece. One of your best :), and it appeals to me a lot, and I think you know that. Do I need to say more?

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Eli James wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 12:56 and said:

Well, I’m sure it was four years ago *runs upstairs to find said article*

YES IT IS. 30 May 2004 - the slightly frayed article that inspired me to start my personal blog. Footsteps in the Mirror - blue with 3 penguins in the sidebar - written by Edrei Zahari.

Quote: ‘Usually reading other people’s blogs helps me to know what they go through in a day. Sometimes they have issues or opinions they want to bring to others, so it’s nice to help each other find answers.’

I started my blog a few months later, late 2004.

Whoah, whoah whoah. *jumps* I knew I remembered you from somewhere!

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Kamigoroshi wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 15:13 and said:

ChickyBabe: Thank you. That’s actually a big thing coming from you, the master of tales like that. You write way better than I could and I don’t know which is the fiction and which is real.

Eli: 2004 was 3 years ago seeing that it’s 2007 this year. It would have been one year after I started my blog for the first time. Glad that we helped inspire you to your own blog which reads great from what I’ve been reading so far.

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Katrina wrote from on April 1, 2007 at 21:39 and said:

ooh.. nice dream…

I keep having freaky dreams lately.. people keep dying or getting hurt. It really isn’t that nice to wake up to. =S

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bodicea wrote from on April 2, 2007 at 19:43 and said:

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Kamigoroshi wrote from on April 2, 2007 at 19:46 and said:

Katrina: There was a time when I used to get all that. Though, not now anymore though. Oddly enough i always felt excited in those dreams…

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Chibster wrote from on April 3, 2007 at 15:48 and said:

Oh, I know of longing as well. =)

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