Am I arrogant? Yes I am most definitely, more so to the things I know that I know the most…which come to think of it, is an arrogant statement itself. But then again, anyone who has read my blog would know pretty much that I am arrogant, anyone who has known me for a long time in real life would know that…yes I am a pride-bearing lil fella.
I’ve got a major inferiority complex chip on my shoulder and I’m not afraid to admit it. Why? Because over the months and years that I have began to dance the fine line between arrogance and leaving-it-the-heck-alone, I’m not that insecure anymore. It’s good to know you have the right to say things when you’re good at something, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be quick to admit what you don’t know don’t know when you have no clue whatsoever about what goes on.
I’m in the line where sometimes what I do matters between another person’s life and death, the fine line between sanity and insanity. Long ago I made the mistake of taking on things I don’t know. The hard lesson there is that you’re just not the only one paying for your own mistakes, other people pay that price as well. It’s one mistake I never want to see again.
So…hard lesson learnt, “Arrogance is best tempered with sheer brilliance”. Not the brilliance as in “I don’t know it now but I’m willing to learn”, but the brilliance in “I have without a doubt I know what I’m doing right here, right now”. There is nothing wrong with being arrogant, you just have to damn well do what you say rather than the heresay of how good you are.
When we do something great, we should feel great even though it’s wrong. We should feel great that it’s great. We should feel like crap that it’s wrong. Arrogance is something you should feel when you know what you do matters, not for something you feel what will be will be. Arrogance shouldn’t let you sleep better at night. If you do…you shouldn’t. That’s the price to pay when you know you’re good at something, when things go bad…you’re the one who should be held accountable…unless you have a serious messiah complex to make up for some major insecurities…which is understandable.
While we’re on the subject, what about humility? What do you mean by humility? Do you mean genuine humility? You know, with all the self-doubt and the self-questioning, or the other polite, patronizing â€œAw, shucksâ€ humility? To me yeah…genuine humility is great when you’re wrong, but it never does any good when you’re right doesn’t it? Then being patronizing in saying you’re humble then still giving the stance that you have the right to be proud, now that’s just self-delusional.
So what have we learnt here? Well for starters, I’m human. I’m arrogant. I can make mistakes that cost lives. I like actions spoken for with action. I feel like crap for my mistakes and I don’t sleep well at night. All this means absolutely nothing at all. Why? Because I by the time I post this and by the time you read it. I would be doing other things which may or may not lead to me feeling great. I’ve said what I want to say and whatever happens next is for me to deal with it then.
That’s probably it’s always best to just say what you want to say and do what you do. Life’s too short to bother with pretense. If you want to waste time in trying to defend yourself by saying the same things over and over again, you’ll never get things done at all. If you want to be pretentious as a form of humility and forgiveness, now that’s just plain insulting.