Late Night Excursion

She came by the house unannounced. Even in the dark, I could see that something was wrong. Her eyes glistening in the pale moonlight.

“Can I come in?” she muttered. Trying hard not to choke.

“Sure.” I said as I beckoned her in. “I was just watching a movie. Would you like to watch? Mel and Kelly are in the living room.”

“It’s alright, I just want to look at the stars.” She made a beeline to the back, greeting Mel and Kelly along the way. I gave a curious shrug to Mel as I followed her to my backyard. Did I ever tell you I have a great backyard for stargazing? I do. Though I like it more when the outside air isn’t trying to freeze your buns off.

I found her trying to drag one of the patio chairs to plop them down the middle of the lawn. “The lawn was damp. Otherwise I could have just lied down.” She had her cute moments, even though she’s struggling to keep it all in. She always had her cute moments.

She sat down. I sat down on the armrest beside her. Looking into her eyes, I knew she couldn’t hold back anymore. In the pale moonlight, I could see the tears already welling up and spilling over the sides, even as she looked up into the stars. She began to weep ever so softly.

“Hey, it’ll be alright.” I put my arms around her as she snuggled close to me in the cold and cried. I rubbed her soulders for comfort and perhaps to warm her up a little. Not that it would do any good for either, she needed to let it all out.

“Why can’t he be like you?” She choked. I knew who he was. I just didn’t think he was right for her. “All he does when I cry is ask why I’m sad.” Yup, he’s got a long way to go before he figures out what to do in situations like this. Definitely not right for her.

What does a guy do in a siutation like this. More to the point, what does a best friend do in a situation like this? They try to lighten the mood I guess. “Well, I don’t know. I’m part of a unique 20 year breeding program you see. Not many guys get selected for this experiment.”

My witty liners though extremely rare and forthcoming, aren’t usually in vain. She cracks a smile and a small giggle. That’s usually a good start. “I wish I could find a guy who’s just like you.” Now that’s quite flattering. “With tall good looks and a great body.” Way to burst a guy’s ego.

“Thank you so much for making me feel better about myself.” Feigning hurt and the need for comfort with a smile. I knew what I had. I’m not that insecure about how I look anymore. Her giggles now breaking into laughter as I wiped away her tears.

I always had a crush on her. Even a little dash of lust. Mel once said, she would be surprised if I didn’t have. She is lovable, sweet and cute, not to mention smart to boot. The kinda gal that guys like myself often refer to as the “girl-next-door”. And here she is, vulnerable, in need for comfort and looking to the only guy she could trust and count on. If I didn’t know any better, if I knew nothing else of the situation, I’d give into my own fleeting crush, reach down and kiss her. I didn’t. I must be getting wiser for my old age

Her laugher burst into tears again as memories, worries and expectations all coming to the surface in that small moment of emotional outburst. As her friend, I listened despite the cold. Despite everything else, as a friend, I was there to slip in a few words of wisdom every once in a while. Despite everything else, I didn’t look back at what I felt and looked to what I already had and what I needed to do to do it.

As her tears subsided and she regained her composure, she looked to the sky and asked. “Do you know where the Big Dipper is?” “I know it’s got this dot in the middle.”

Being an amateur astronomer without my telescope and my star charts, I gave her the best answer I could. Looking up and pointed at the stars. “Well, I think it’s pretty hard to determine where it could be seeing that there are dots over there…and over there…some dots over there too…and over there…”

She burst out into laughter again.

We continued to talk though the night untill she had to go. “Thanks for everything.” She said as she hugged me tight. I didn’t say anything. Well, there was nothing to deny there anyway. Given the night, I didn’t end up playing slave to my loony thoughts. Instead, I listened and made her feel better. It was probably one of the smartest things I ever did. I like that.

6 thoughts on “Late Night Excursion

  1. Lovely post :). Everyone needs a friend like you. It doesn’t matter of there is unspoken attraction, a friendship is a friendship.

  2. ChickyBabe: Well, it isn’t really unspoken. She knows what I feel. She also knows I won’t push the line. Damn. 🙂

    Pat: Ditto. 🙂

  3. This post resonates very deeply with me. Let me tell you a story to explain why.

    Once a long time ago I had a sensitive best friend like you. I knew what he felt for me and I knew he wouldn’t cross the line. After all he was younger than I was and well, he was just a friend – albiet a special friend the boy next door but not a boyfriend. He was a plain rock and I was a beautiful wild thing.

    Once a long time ago I came to realize that the sensitive friend in question was a indeed a very attractive man who laughed at my jokes and listened to my stories, who was always there for me, whether I was up or down. I clung to that rock and he marveled at his wild thing from a respectful distance.

    Time passed lovers came and went and I longed for him to cross the line that was drawn by mutual and unspoken agreement between us. But he didn’t cross it and I couldn’t. I was older and I couldn’t have children and that seemed so very important at the time.

    Then one fateful night he moved closer to the line and I moved closer too. We spent hours speaking heart to heart about what a relationship without children might be like. We fell asleep on an old couch on a porch under the sparkling Milky Way.

    In the morning dew we awoke in each other’s arms fully clothed under a down quilt and married. Not a word was spoken between us as he took my hand and led me to his bed. Together we tenderly erased the line between us for all time consumating our union.

    Later as we lay nestled like spoons in the afterglow I giggled and said to the boy next door, my very best friend, my rock, my dearly beloved: “What took you so long?” He chuckled and said to his beautiful wild thing: “I was waiting for you – age goes before beauty.”

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