Me: I’d feel better if I knew you felt the same way as well.
Mel: You have no idea how much self control I am pulling off right now.
Me: Oh…well…at least we’re in the same boat together.
Mel: Shut up and….
A lot of people wonder or ask why some people like us do the things we do. To that, I say one thing. It’s because people like us have our ideals, our principles to abide to. That brings me to what I remember Albert or someone else saying over lunch some time back, that people like me who build our lives around our principles rarely find ourselves in a position in which we can be happy. I think a lot of you agree to that as well…that knowing me for me, I do have a lot of principles that make me as rigid and unyielding as a hard ancient tree (somehow, that image is just disturbing for some reason).
Then again, maybe people are right. With everything that I have, everything that I could do with what I have. It just seems utterly pointless to hold myself or rather ourselves back from something that would otherwise make things…happy for us.
But things were always there for a reason. Principles were always there for a reason. It’s not because I was raised that way. It’s not because I like to wallow in my own misery. It’s because the consequence of not abiding to certain rules in life would always result in something more than just being happy. Something far worse and very very miserable. I should know. I have lived my life without those rules before as have you. You know what I’m talking about.
So yeah, I had my time of fun before this and as much as you may hate the fact that I can get the things you want but not actually reach out and claim it, you’ll understand sooner or later that there will be a time when having fun just doesn’t cut it anymore, not without the trail of misery that you leave behind.
There are things in my life I have now that I don’t want to take for granted. Things in my life now that I don’t want to lose. It’s not that I don’t want to take the chance, it’s not that I’m chickening out. It’s that I know what will happen if some rules are broken. So for now…I’ll be a good boy…perhaps a little…too good even by my standards. Who knows, after all…good things come to whose who are patient.
How patient we can be any longer…well…that depends on how much work we have ahead of us. I think we can afford to be patient a long while more.