Now that I’m free from that great burden, I can now start working on the things I really wanted to do. Even though I do use melancholy as a source for inspiration, the fact that I couldn’t do anything at all over the last 11 months testified to just how bad the situation got, but now that’s over, I can get back to using my usually dark mood swings as sources of creativity. So far since last Tuesday I find myself in the middle of a few projects.
- Building a new computer that I want rather than something I need like I have been since forever.
- Working on some short stories to fine tune the dystopian world I’m creating for NaNoWriMo this year end.
- Redesigning and revamping this blog from scratch.
Now as much as I would like to do everything at once since I’m at a post-freedom buzz, I know that’s simply not possible. Seeing that I still do have a day (or night depending on my shift) job to do, there are only certain times of the day or week that I’m actually free to do anything at all. So rather than making a rookie mistake, you know as well as I do, I’m going to have to do one thing at a time.
Given my capabilities with computers, building a new one isn’t hard at all. I’ve been doing it for more than a decade so it’s pretty much a cake walk for me. I’m excited that this time I’m doing this for myself with the things I want rather than for someone else I’ll have to stare and envy. The issue here is that I’ll be trying to do this without having to reinstall Windows all over again. Basically a hard drive swap into a fresh new system. I’ve been doing my research and while some people say I probably do have to do a fresh clean install, others say taken the right measures, I can get away without installing. All I know now is that I’m prepared for both, but I’m not really looking forward to having to reinstall the 145 programs that grace my current system. Tedium is always a mood killer.
Writing the short stories while not my forte at all to do creative fiction, isn’t going to be that hard either. It’s just going to be slow and complicated. I see myself probably doing a few hundred words every couple of days, maybe more if I have the inspiration for it. It’s just not going to be a priority and nor am I pushing myself for it. The main purpose is to put down what’s on my mind and fine tune the kinks later for when I write NaNoWriMo (which is going to be the actual push). I’m not expecting to write a published best seller either, so there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to do this.
Finally, it comes down to this blog, my blog and it is the hardest and most complicated project out of the three. I’ve talked about it before and I know it has to be done. I last revamped this blog over 4 years ago. Given how much WordPress, myself and you my readers have changed over those years, what I’m facing is a complete overhaul of the user interface coupled with a new design, colour scheme, graphics, everything. Given my limited knowledge of coding and web design, I know I’m going to have problems right off the board. Given than this isn’t something that can be done whenever I feel like it too isn’t exactly a point for making it easy. It’s going to be a long haul and I know it’s going to stress me out and I’m going to start lashing out at the world and harming myself. Such is the price of lonely ambitions but I know it’ll somehow work out in the end. This current blog theme after all was a result of that unstable madness and I am pretty damn proud of it.
So there, three big projects to work on. As I’m typing this, I sit here thinking what the hell I’m getting myself into, but then again, the better roads in my life somehow come from taking a step out of my comfort zone and doing the things I feel woefully inadequate to tackle. Sometimes you never know what may come out of the things you work so hard on and even after these years, the end results of some of my efforts still surprised me. Still, I can’t help wondering that I may need a bigger plate to put all of this in, or maybe put less on my plate for now.