If there is something I've picked up after all these years in the big city and having know people from all tracks of life, having a Gay Radar is one of those nearly useless things I never take for granted.

"Do you think he's gay?"

"No."

"But he looks so gay with the earrings and his clothes and even the way he talks."

"No. He's not gay."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Trust me."

It wasn't until much later that thanks to the other skill of finding things out in a round about way that I had the answer to her question.

"No he isn't gay."

"You asked him?"

"In a way. He's a media student from Melbourne."

"That explains a lot how?"

"More than you'd ever know."

Have you seen the artsy people from Melbourne lately? Seriously, if you didn't know better, you'd think it's a wholly different world than the one you've been living in after all this time. On days like this, it pays to have a gayday. I wouldn't want to be caught dead without it.