Old Flames

It was a secret she kept for a long time, though by some miraculous twist of fate, I found out what it was. It felt petty for me to be angry at the fact she never told me despite the times we have spent talking to one another, catching up on old times, but for what its worth, I understand why she told no one and in the same position, I would have done the same. Who’s to say I’m not doing the same now anyway?

It is something to be in awe of. The things you hardly expect from the past to happen. Even if you left that life a long time ago, there were always certain expectations that you could always abide to, expectations that to someone of my unique…upbringing, hold true even now. Jocks will always be stay close to home. Geeks will always be find a way to be successful in their own right. Rebels will always be outspoken to the inhumanity of humanity. And old crushes that were the archetype for you falling in love with every ice queen there was will ways be that archetype.

I suppose in many ways, this is exactly the kind of thing that I should have expected from someone like her. A life beyond the norm that I expect everyone else from my past to live. There was a time when I fell in love with her because I felt that she could understand the burdens people like me strapped over our shoulders. She carried her own cross and so did I, even if it was remarkably different in how we dealt with it over the years, misery loves company. As we parted ways, my feelings unrequited, I still never forgot her and what she meant to me. She knew how I felt, but she also knew I was wise enough to not let it affect a friendship. Of all the people from my past, she is the only I still talk to with any measure of fondness.

Now of course, everything has changed, the world has past us by and we’re all grown up in more ways than one. In my mind she’s still the archetype of all that I cherish in the one I now love. This news changes everything and surprisingly, nothing at a the same time. She is a new person as she is the same one I had a crush on so many years ago. The way I see it, she is as practical, selfish and emotionally pragmatic as I knew her in high school. She will survive whatever hardship that comes her way and through that, give a better life for the people she would be willing to endure it for. That much I have faith in her.

So here is to a new life and a new future for the one person in that part of my past that still meant something to me. You certainly jumped the gun on this one and there aren’t many events that can cause my mind to literally implode like that but coming from you, how can I hold it against you?

After all, I know you’ll make a great mother and I wish the very best for you.

I always have.

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