Rules Of Conduct…

When someone needs a helping hand.
Don’t be a stranger. Be a friend.

If a person knows nothing but conflict and darkness.
Don’t give them more. Show them a better new world.

If someone needs a place to stay and belong.
Don’t give them words. Give them a hand and shoulder to hold.

If a person can’t be happy because no one is around him for being unhappy.
Don’t walk away. Stand by them in spite of themselves.

If a person works hard only to cling to the edge of what they desire.
Don’t ignore them. Grab their hand and pull them up.

If a person gives himself a reason to stop fighting a loosing battle.
Don’t stand where you are. Stand back to back and fight along with them.

And together standing against that cold dark.

Everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright.

35 thoughts on “Rules Of Conduct…

  1. If no one cares, get the message and shut the fuck up.

    If someone is fighting a losing battle, clearly they are a loser, let them lose.

    If someone needs so much, they need to stop looking solely at themselves, pull their heads from their respective asses and take a good long look in the mirror.

    Life is to be lived, not whinged about.

    Problems are to be solved, not hung onto..

    Issues are to be resolved, not elongated.

    Mistakes are to be learnt from, not made into burdens..

    The past is something that HAS happened, not something that can define what WILL happen.

  2. ShaolinTiger: Sometimes all it takes is a person or two to make the difference. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve made it happen. The past mistakes is what we should never forget but keep moving on. It’s easy to stop caring when you got enough to be cared for yourself. No one can be better than who they are. Only through the world and through others will we be…for better or worse…more than we can ever be.

  3. i really don’t understand.

    “nobody loves me”

    “hey, i/we do”

    “oh but it’s not enough. i want to be as popular as everyone else”

    “having a scanty commentbox makes me all moody and sad”

    “please love me or else i’ll shut down my blog”.

    yes, i know you’re going to say that i don’t know you. but buddy, other than to personally hold your hand, the only thing we have is your blog. and what your blog tends to KEEP saying, is all that (see above).

    you have a faithfull bunch of readers and apparently, friends who care. yet you pooh pooh them and crave for …what exactly? lets keep the answer in non-repetitive paragraphs pls.

    i’m sorry that this comment is not to your liking, but hey, you opened the door. you’re probably very smart and well read. but the level of maturity is sorely wanting.

  4. Bob: Maybe because at the end of it all, is immature insensitive faceless people like yourself that make it all the more harder for people to come to grips with the situation. You can’t show a person who has everything how it feels like to have nothing. You cant show a person who’s under the limelight and is loved by all how it was to not have anything left but contempt. I’m sorry that your attitude towrds freedom of speech doesn’t allot people to express who they are and be wanted, I’m sorry if that’s the truth of your attitude Bob, but then again…people like you are never the solution…but always the cause of a bigger problem.

  5. Hmm. The is much irony here, especially on the issue of immaturity, but I will not be a prick – I have my own blog for that =P

    Bob’s got one point though (although I don’t necessarily agree with the delivery) – what about those who DO care?

    Of course, this is quite rich, coming from me. Must be the clove fumes.

  6. Okay, I’m abit late in commenting, but 1. Don’t stop blogging. 2. This is a good post, and applies to a lot of people, not just yourself.

    Edrei, Shaolin Tiger, Bob, you all have good points. It does help to always be there for somebody, because like Edrei says, it might just make all the difference. And it always does. BUT, like Shaolin Tiger says, action should be taken instead of constantly whinging about it. And like Bob says, yeah…you so seem like you’re constantly craving attention on your blog.

    Edrei, you do come up with brilliant posts, and you really have a faithful readership even I don’t have. Just be thankful for them all, and stay true to what you blog, coz ultimately your blog is your online representation. Keep on blogging what you feel like saying. If you’re depressed and melancholic, go ahead and blog about it, especially if it’s the only thing that makes you feel better. Just remember that there ARE people out there who do care about you, so don’t forget them either. And although they can’t show it physically, they will show it ultimately in their own way.

  7. Cynical: Well…I always do something. Never stopped doing something about it. I’m not a hypocrite about that. It’s just that when I’m sick and tired of just pushing and pushing…it all gets to me. Yeah…I crave attention simply because I spent years of my life never having it even from my own parents. I do whatever I can to forget that I need attention to begin with. The work, the things I pull off. Anything to stop myself from remembering how invisible I usually am.

    Thanks for saying that anyway. It’s just that as I wrote before somewhere that if I’m winging about it. So what? This is my blog and this is how I feel. What…you’re going to say things because of how I feel as well? That’s hypocrisy for you.

    Here is irony though.

    The only way I get this kind of hits is when I really get ticked of about this situation. Then people come out from all over to tell me what I should or should not do. Whenever I start giving opnions about important issues like freedom of speech or the prices we pay for things we do…general silence ensues.

  8. u know, this guy here has stood by me since meeting me in jan. its generally hard to even start trusting soeone with ur life if u’ve just met them once. with him? i trust him with my life.

    sure, sometimes he wants recognition for the things he does, doesn’t everyone? its certainly fair to accredit someone like him the fair share of attention he deserves.

    i’m not about to ask for anyone of u to kow-tow to him or anything of tht sort, but do him a favour and stop making his life miserable.

  9. Well said Kris. πŸ™‚

    Hell, I haven’t even met him and trust him with my entire being. He has proved himself unlike some I’ve known before. Always true to his words…

    You know I care for you very much, right? πŸ™‚

  10. Kris, I am sorry. But make his life miserable? How?

    Edrei knows as well as anyone that once he hits ‘Enter’, the post is there for everyone to see. In this case he is saying he wants feedback because no feedback makes him miserable. Then when feedback comes in with good repeated suggestions by people who do care for him and read his site, it is still going to make him miserable? We just can’t win, can we?

    I agree with some things he say, I disagree with some things he say. Sometimes I comment, sometimes I do not comment. I do not leave comments on every blog that I read; I read a whole lot of blogs. That is just the nature of things. Lack of comments does not mean lack of popularity. Not everyone comments on Jeff Ooi’s every post. Doesn’t mean no one is reading it.

    Please, get a fair perspective before anything else is said.

  11. yeah kris.


    you take things too seriously for your own good.

    darth vader died you know.

    WRONG role model to follow. try to be happy? please?

  12. Ever think that it is nto the advice he is seeking for? his posts have specific target audiences and soemtimes they just do not get to them. when other people misinterpret it and blasts unneeded comments at him, it gets frustrating. give him a break.

    and i know that he takes things very seriously. sometimes too seriously for his own good as well.

    but than again, sometimes its a matter of who reads what

  13. minishorts: when i said he was taking things too seriously for his own good, i meant that he was probably not on the same wavelength as the person who was commenting. It’s like 2 people debating about one topic, each talking about a different thing, yet assumes the other is going on about the topic that he/she is talking about.

    It’s all about the fact that sometimes when he writes, it is meant for somebody to read, but the person doesn’t read it, yet comments come back blasting him. All cos everything was misunderstood.

    It’s not easy being happy all day long, not when you’ve got a lot bothering you. It’s more like force feeding a person Ritalin, just so he would be all ‘happy’.

  14. Wow…thanks a lot Kris. You really do understand the context of it. You have no idea how much that means for you to just stand up and say that. Thanks. Really.

  15. *slaps shaolin tiger n bob*

    this blog means everything to him….. and u wont understand or give a damn untill u know what it means…..which is why he takes it VERY seriously

    i trust him with all that i have… i dont think i can thank him enough for everything… uve been all that to me… and i hope ive been the same for you

    ed… dont stop here…. you still have me and out little secret!! sshhhhhhh

  16. This whole ‘you can never understand because it’s not you and you’ve not been there’ thing is getting out of hand. No, of course we can’t know and even if we do know, we still can’t know. What the…? Because we are not allowed to be objective. Because we are not allowed to have a different opinion.

    If Edrei wants to maintain this blog only to his personal friends, he is welcome to do so. I have no doubt that he has been a tremendous friend to a lot of people, extending his ears and shoulders to those who seek solace. But since we all know that he is not, well there you go.

    Nobody can be forced to agree or disagree with everything. Edrei is a good listener when it comes to other people’s situations, maybe he can extend that when others are trying to provide him with objective suggestions that he has asked for before and is still seeking.

  17. Hi Kami. Pay no heed to Bob and Shaolin. They’re just mean. Go on, show us a picture of your hair again. That was a good laugh! πŸ™‚

  18. suanie: don’t you mean subjective? it is not the issue about not being allowed to have different opinions. what i’m asking is that maybe if you’d seek out to ask him wat did he really mean and then start commenting, it would seem like a good idea.

    ed: no worries. you always know i’m here for u. although ur 2 days away from where I live πŸ˜› plus, u still do owe me tht movie ticket. hahaha

  19. wow kris.

    you’ve known him since january.

    in january 2010 you come back and tell me if you’ve stood up for him till then.

    AS FOR ME… Edrei, you look me in the eye and tell me that i’m still cruel to you?

    I think the cruelest person in this place to you is yourself, edrei. Chins up ok.

    And Kris. Grow up. Reality isn’t so kind. Edrei’s over 21. Its time he behaved that way.

  20. well, if all these comments don’t make you go “you love me, you really love me!”, then i don’t know.

    sweetheart, your response to negative comments says alot. you’re widely read, you should know by now that the freedom of speech argument cuts BOTH ways. you also make assumptions that anyone who doesnt sympathise with you has everything, unlike poor you who has nothing.

    i truly am sorry for you, as most of your readers are, that you had a deprived childhood. i wouldnt wish that on anyone. but you’re running the risk of turning into michael jackson who complains that everyone doesnt understand him, he’s peter pan blah blah. hey, look at drew barrymore..screwed up childhood, but didn’t stop her.
    and didnt need to molest little boys either.

    your last two posts has garnered you quite a nice number of comments, many of them telling you that they support you etc. yet you moan that “silence is all that tells me. I am alone”. you moan that your “intelligent” posts don’t get the comments that other bloggers do.

    everyone wants people to think that they are intellectual and inspiring. everyone wants respect. reality is, sometimes people just arent intellectual nor inspiring. perhaps its because of the delivery. you do have a lot to say. but i think it’s going over many of your readers’ heads because of the delivery.

    you want to compare readership/comments? try someone like dina zaman of the now defunct gongkapas times. she has been through her share of heartaches. the reason why she had a huge following was because she was honest, funny and presented an admirable attitude to life despite her circumstances. some of her posts were heartbreaking yet still rang of hope.

    everyone is worth something. yes. so are you. how one chooses to live one’s life is testament to strength of character.

    good luck to you.

  21. All Edrei wants is to belong somewhere. It’s as simple as that. Why can’t anyone accept for who he is? Flaws or not. No one is perfect, cliche-ish as it sounds. But at times like these, instead of flaming him for trying to belong, why can’t anyone just simply say “I’m here for you Ed.” Whether or not anyone is there with him, it sure hell means alot. Emotionally or spiritually, admit it, we all need to hear that once awhile.

  22. well said sweetie (no pun intended :P)

    true that everyone needs to have some support once in a while, no matter what he/she may say for the matter. i’m like that admitedly. sometimes i just wish the world would leave me alone, but then with Ed barging in calling, i can’t say that it does not help.

    minishorts: yes i will tell u that when that time comes. yes reality isn’t kind sometimes, but than again i’m not asking for you to treat him like a little kid. all i’m saying is that once in a while, try not to be so sharp with words while commenting in blogs.

  23. Minishorts: Why don’t you do that first before you tell anyone else especially my friends or me to grow up. All of us have vices that we aren’t proud off, but it doesn’t define who we are. So I’m an insecure guy who can really winge about my past. So what. If you’re going to hold that against me, you got a lot of skeletons in your closet too. So does everyone else.

    Bob: The posts here reflect how I feel, not what I do. Yeah I winge alot. Again…are you going to hold that against me? I don’t have the luxury of feeling anything in the real world because mostly…it gets in the way of the job. So I do it here. So excuse me if I’m not the most funny guy in the world, but I didn’t leave a past full of lonely people behind. Maybe I’m not as intellectual as some people claim to be, but I damn well can say…I’m good at making sure the people I care for stand up again.

  24. OK! I think its time I spoke up. Minishorts, I will start with you seeing as almost every comment I have seen from you has attacked what Edrei has said. Get your fucking head out of your fucking ass and recognise that even though he is going through a tough time, he is still helping people like me and Kris by the looks of that.

    Ya know…it doesnt matter what problem I have, Edrei is always there asking if he can help. As for implying that he wont be around for people who need him in the furture…Honey, Ive known him just over 5 fucking years and he hasnt left me high and dry once. Not once, not even when I upset him, not when I lost the net.

    Yeah he can be whiney, but so can I. I take whatever he throws at me because friends dont just stand by each other when times are good. We stand by each other when the going gets tough. Get the hidden message there people?

    As for the rest of you idiots that dont have a constructive bone in your bodies, fuck off and evolve and that goes for you too Minishorts

    Thank you Kris and the rest who actually stood up for Edrei, it’s good to see some people doing something nice for him.

  25. edrei… have you ever wondered that MAYBE, it is because you keep wanting everybody to treat you like how kris, sweetie and tracey talks to you that you’re… urm… unwanted like you said?

    i told you 10 million times adi.

    you can’t expect the world to turn around you.

    anyway i’m going back to my little playground where immature idiots like me can shake our heads while hoping that you’ll KICK OUT OF YOU STUPIDITY.

  26. sigh. so many points being lost. even edrei’s actually.
    talk about missing the message when it’s not even hidden.

    this is what is NOT in issue:-
    1. that edrei has friends who love him and support him
    2. that edrei wants to belong
    3. that edrei is a good friend to stand by your side.

    what IS in issue (for Edrei), is:-
    a. he wants to shut down his blog because he doesn’t get enough comments
    b. the fact that people don’t seem to get his intellectual/melancholic posts, as evidenced by what he perceives is rejection at the comment box.
    c. despite him being such a good friend to all, why doesn’t he have an Edrei for him?
    d. despite his friends saying “we love you!”, it’s still not enough for him.

    as for being constructive, well, if one would untwist one’s knotty knickers, one should see that i have in fact been trying to give a constructive comment and actually address his concern- it’s in the delivery.

    i did not doubt that you are well read and are willing to give your all. i’m just trying to answer your question about why nobody seems to comment. it so happens that you and your friends don’t like the answer.

    edrei, what some of us are trying to say is that there is no use crying over the problem, unless you really like sitting in rapidly spoiling spilt milk. going on and on about it will not solve the problem.

    why don’t people comment? maybe they don’t get it. maybe it feels redundant to keep saying yeah, i know how you feel. maybe it’s redundant to keep answering the same answers to the same questions.maybe the post is too long? maybe the readers aren’t on the same wavelength.

    whatever it is, those facts CANNOT be changed. what can change, if you actually want to, is you or your style or whatever. but you yourself have said that you don’t want to sell out. fine. stalemate, buddy. no use crying over that.

    as much as you have repeatedly said that you are not an attention-seeker, well, the very fact of wanting to shut down the blog because you don’t get enough comments contradicts you. if that is truly the reason why you blog, then you might as well shut it down.

  27. Minishorts: Actually…this is the first time they’ve willingly stood up to me publicly on this. Maybe you don’t quite value and understand the times I’ve been there for you in spite of yourself and myself and you expect me to become part of that world you live in which thrives on that which everyone suffers from. No Minishorts. I guess I have to be reminded that the reason why I’ve always been this way is the reason why I stand up for everyone this way. To make sure they won’t be alone. That in the end…something like this can happen.

    Bob: The fact that your last paragraph mentioned and I quote:

    as much as you have repeatedly said that you are not an attention-seeker, well, the very fact of wanting to shut down the blog because you donÒ€ℒt get enough comments contradicts you. if that is truly the reason why you blog, then you might as well shut it down.

    Shows that you don’t really read my blog nor do you understand the context of what I post at all. I have mentioned in at least 2 seperate posts how personal bloggers are attention-seeking…which pretty much includes me. So next time get your facts right first before you think you can be all high and mighty in determining what I am actually saying before asking me to clarify it to begin with. Because whatever issues you have written above there really isn’t what’s been going on about this. That’s why I’ve said before…you really don’t see what I’ve been trying to say all along. So next time, try to understand the “why” first. It saves you time and trouble.

  28. the last time i fell down… my mum got so angry because i WANTed to stay down, she gave me ten tight slaps and asked me to go die.

    you remember or not?

    imagine if i started saying ‘i hate you mum, i hate you mum.’

    that would make me REALLY mature hoh.

  29. minishorts – come, we go to the playground together. πŸ™‚ i’ll get out of edrei’s long long hair now.

    i’m so reminded of our typical malaysian politicians…who single out one slightly irrelevant aspect and go round and round in response.

    btw, edrei, i’d like to commend you on your civility of response in general by not needing to resort to colourful language. makes up for the prickly defensiveness.

    so long, and thanks for all the fun! *holds out hand to minishorts*

  30. Minishorts: What applies for you applies for you…not me. Not anyone else. There is a reason why I listen to people first before I say something about it, not every advice the way I put it can apply the same way. Everyone has a way of doing things that are right for them and works the best way for it. Understanding why is a start. Finishing it off is another. Friends usually stick around and understand the why.

    Bob: At least one thing is different in this case. I do what I say I do. You may think it irrelevent, but at least from the responses here, it would appear that what’s irrelevent is in the eye of the beholder. With something as subjective as a persons perspective on life, you can’t assume that he or she responds to the same values as what the world would suggest. Like I said to Minishorts, it’s about understanding why things happen the way they do rather than misinterpreting it for what it’s not. Thanks for the commendation anyway.

  31. tracey: well said. i couldn’t have said it better myself.

    now everyone should bugger off and stop blasting at ppl.

    *runs around sprinkling the winter blues on everybody*

  32. Dude.

    The bigger the blogger, the less likely he/she has time to comment. They’ve gone past that I-want-my-link-here-by-commenting stage.

    I only get to go through my blog list once or twice a month. πŸ™

    You know it too, you read friends’ blogs, but you don’t comment. Friends tell me in real life, “eh I like that post about your grandfather’s road.” Padahal they’ve never commented in my blog. Huai Bin said he remembers me and reads my blog. πŸ™‚

    You’ve only commented in my blog like what, 4 times. I don’t have to come back and visit, but I do, and if your blog disappeared, I would be worried. Reading blogs are a non-commital way of catching up with people as opposed to asking “how are you?” on MSN.

    By the fact that you ping PPS regularly, you probably have oodles of readers… but they refuse to jump in the fire.

    Come to think of it, I should’ve asked around the PPS bash if they’ve heard of Kamigoroshi.

    P.S. Yay to less female-blues-related posts! I noticed. Haha.

  33. gah. just keep writing. it doesn’t really matter if you’re a whingy attention-seeker or a misunderstood thinker. there are readers who agree, and readers who don’t. the important thing is that you know and never forget what this blog really means to you, but also don’t allow the expectations for it to cause you misery.

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