Switch Back

Its inevitable that we walk around in this era of conflicts wearing masks that slowly disbecome us. To family, you are the boy who left home many years ago seeking the hope of a new reality, to friends you are that person they knew who moved beyond the fences of this universe in pursuit of possibilities, or to the country where you came from, you were that hairline crack in the order of the norm, hardly visible yet existing, a real threat to the stability of the religious armour that protected its needs to remain in ultimate control.

You hesitate to put on these masks when you face each of the groups you contact, but you know, in a world of conflicts like yours, your options don’t exactly include choice. There is no one or the other, you wear these masks, whether you like it or not, whether you’re aware of it or not, you put them on as you go about your daily affairs, and slowly, they become you, and yet, they disbecome you.

And so the lines get blurred.

And then, one day, something happens. You realize that while you can’t change how the world tilts and turns its axis, while you’re in no position to control your movements against the laws of nature, you realize that you’re in a position to move and decide the movements within your mind and your heart. You realize it takes a conscious effort to make that decided change, and you think, is it possible?

You decide for a change. You decide, maybe, I’ll try being a different ‘me’, for a change. ‘Would the world seem different? Would I experience things that are different, by choosing to act like a totally different person? Would it change me? ‘ You ask yourself these questions, and then you understand that your questions won’t bear any answers until you actually do what you plan in your mind.

So you switch, for the experience.

A week. Just a week, of looking at things through different coloured lenses. Experience the answers ‘another you’ will experience, relish the feedback ‘a different you’ will receive. You’re you, but you’re not you, because you won’t speak like that. You’re not like that. Slowly, you stand to fall into the new shoes, and they start to feel comfortable.

But horror of horrors. It is yet again, another mask.

I hate this world sometimes. I’m lost in it. I wander the streets wondering what if this, or what if , that. What would happen? How would it be? Why was I not born as someone else?

Today I realized, there wouldn’t be an actual difference really, despite the constrasting realities that we each exist within. We’re living in a world of conflicts, an era of disasters. Wearing the different masks, the different armours we have to protect us against the elements, that’s all we have to keep on surviving.

I’m going back to the beginning. I’m becoming me, again. This time, I hope I’ll find peace.

One thought on “Switch Back

  1. Seems that you had undergone a self-interrogating session in this post to clarify your situation and your role in your life as who you are. Above all, we might have been often being told “to be yourself”. Wish you the best in finding yourself and peace.

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