That (Un)friendly Past

No matter how hard you might try, every once in a while, you’re going to run right smack into a past you tried to leave behind. It’s not that life is trying to get at you. It’s just that, it’s life. That’s the way that life always works and there isn’t anything you can do about it but face whatever had you running away in the first place.

It’s no secret that there are parts of my life that I try hard to forget. It’s no secret that one of the many reasons why I’m still here is that there isn’t much to miss back home. But for the love of all that’s holy and sacred, you don’t have to remind me of things I choose to forget the moment I walked away from it all.

Just because you have some beef against me, doesn’t mean you have to wave it about like a small kid with his first sparkler. If anything, that makes it much more obvious of the person that you are, a bitter little kid who’s scared of crawling out of the makeshift fort he’s built for himself because he thinks that’s the best place in the world for him. You’ve become so colluded with your own sense of misery that you’ve completely disregarded reality around you in favor of lashing out at those who have managed to built a better life around them despite their own misery.

You know what? Despite all this, I don’t feel angry about the way you handle things anymore. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel pity. I don’t feel anything when you do the things that you always do around me. Maybe it’s one of those things that you outgrow. Maybe it’s one of things that you look back and eventually realize some things will never change. Maybe it’s one of those things that you look back and laugh because we used to be young and stupid.

This time though, I don’t have to look back anymore because I’m looking right at you. I’m looking right at you and laughing because you still are at a time when you’re young and stupid. I don’t care what you’ve faced to be where you are and I don’t care what price you paid to wind up at accomplishing absolutely nothing. If experiences are the catalyst to climbing up the ladder of life, then either you’re too lazy to start climbing or you can’t even see where the ladder is…and that itself is too damn funny not to laugh at.

There was the time that I was the clown in your little jokes. A time when I would get so worked up with what you said that it mattered to me in some way. Now, you’re the old joke that I forget because I have moved ahead of the game. You’re the past that I Iook past because we’re on a different level as it is. You’re the same old you and I’m something else entirely.

But last but not by far the least, you may have grown older, but I have grown up.

2 thoughts on “That (Un)friendly Past

  1. The past may haunt us at times but it’s good to look back and see we’ve outgrown it, and our eyes are focussed forward.

  2. Well, the way some people are, we don’t have to look back at all. We just have to look right beside us and see the past right there with us. There was a time when that was sad. Now it’s just plain chuckable. 🙂

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